Mallory

I met all my previous friends through various group activities, drinking on a daily basis was the norm for a while. Working in tech meant open bar parties and things got sloppy real fast. To me in these first 2 photos I look tired, and unhappy. The 3rd photo i genuinely feel great.

After one particularly hard drinking night at a work going away party, i remember consciously switching from beer to vodka. I woke up the next day having barfed and lost my phone. The shame and disappointment were starting to become the norm. I then recorded a video to myself about how i felt in that moment, and why i should stop. I made follow up videos in the weeks that followed, documenting my struggles.

I havent felt this clear headed since I was a teenager. With the help of a couple sober friends and an extensive online program I got to a place of great strength. THe great feeling i have waking up not hungover or in shame is too good to let go. I still have weak moments sure but most of the time it's because i'm anxious about something. So i focus on the "why" of how i'm feeling. I even did a successful trip to Munich's Oktoberfest that was previously planned. with no drinking. it was an exhausting trip to have that challenge. With a family history of alcohol addiction I decided it wasnt cute to be a drunk mess at 23, let alone 33 and I didnt want to be in my 60's getting carried out of a bar.