Becky Woodland 34 12 / 29 / 2019 • Sober Nation

Name: Becky woodland - super_sober_mumma

Age: 34

Sober Since: 12 / 28 / 2019

Sober For: 4 Years & 121 Days

What it was like?

Some say they hit a rock bottom, I felt I was at my rock bottom for many years just scrapping across the bottom back and fourth. In 2018 I entered rehab where my life changed, I finally felt safe and not alone. I met people like myself what I soon found out were addicts and alcoholics. Prior to this I hadn’t gone 1 day with out having a drink or a substance in 2 years, I couldn’t sleep with out sleepers, I couldn’t go to the toilet with out cocaine, I couldn’t leave the house or make phone calls with out a drink in me. My diet consisted of red bull, cocaine, vodka and crisps. I was grey. My periods had stopped I had no self worth I hated myself, i was desperate to stop but it was no longer a choice I was deep into addiction, I tried to poison myself with raw chicken thinking I would be able to stop if I was hospitalised for a few days, I was on a Suicide mission I knew nothing about, often jumping out of windows and cars in the madness, I had lost my mind, I would wake up in the night wondering if I had wet myself or I was sweating for needing another top up. My first week in rehab I was medically detoxed where I withdrew from everything I was so weak and couldn’t get out of bed, I had liver damage and was on 15 minutes observations. Before this I spent a long time having Psychotic episodes due to the drink and drugs going to my brain, through out this I lied and manipulated doctors and my family I wasn’t drinking or using drugs. I was diagnosed with Disassociation disorder, I was put on strong medication which I continued to drink and use with. I was fully dependent on alcohol and drugs. I was sectioned and soon when the alcohol had worn off I manipulated the Psychiatrists to thinking I didn’t have a drinking problem i wasn’t at risk to myself I just had a bad night with booze and missing my father who passed away. I am a mother and I did not want to leave my little girl with out a mum she is my world but she could not stop me, I wanted help I asked for it and that’s the best thing I have ever done, I entered rehab for my daughter but now I do recovery for me. I have relapsed in the past due not surrendering and accepting, I have learnt and grown from this I am 1 year sober, I work a 12 step program, I ask for help when needed. I can do life with out drink and drugs and it is amazing, I am the mother I always dreamt to be and I am a good one because of recovery, I am a daughter a sister a auntie and a friend. I am present and emotionally available. I take one day at a time. I surround myself with people like myself other alcoholics and addicts. I have a sponser that I turn to for guidance, I owe my life to AA and CA and working my program the guilt of my past and the shame has left me. Leaving my 3 year old for 6 weeks entering rehab I thought would be the most challenging hardest thing but it turns out it’s actually life on life’s terms doing recovery, it takes willingness and hard effort but what I receive back is gold it’s life true freedom. NONE of this would of happened if I wasn’t HONEST and WILLING.