Victor

My life was surrounded around drinking from the first time I started (around 13 to 14). I didn't know or want anything else. I lost interest in school, sports and all else that didn't have anything to do with drinking. alcohol and drugs were a big part of my life. I drank to achieve Blackouts (that's where I wanted to stay). But as time went on I seemed to pass out before the blackout. although my life suffered I wouldn't admit it was alcohol. My life was a mess, but I was having fun. Although I loved being in a blackout, I didn't like not remembering what I had done. I felt free while I was drinking so I rarely ever quit. The most sobriety I could put together was 2 weeks, and that always seemed to justify another drunk. Long story short is that I was having fun until I wasn't.

From the start of my drinking, I was always in trouble with the law, but that never deterred me because I always had something else to blame. But one day I over heard a conversation about me where the person asked their mom why I wouldn't stop drinking. The Mom told her That I couldn't ( they didn't know I had heard them as I was walking up their house). I didn't realize that I couldn't quit until I tried ( I was around 21 yrs old). I drove myself nuts and put a lot of stress on myself where I had 6 to 7 different physical problems that came from trying to do it on my own. After visiting a treatment center, numerous times in jail and trying to go cold sober I had no choice but AA, While I was reading the Big Book and screaming for help I ran into a crossroad. Everything was going black and and I couldn't see, I cried out to GOD and HE restored me. A light shone around me and my insanity was gone, I had just expedience a power greater then myself. At that very second I went from total insanity to a calmness that cannot be explained. I performed steps 1, 2, and 3 without even knowing that was the 1st 3 steps of AA. I was 4 1/2 months sober at this point. I stayed sober and went to as many meeting as I could sometimes 3 a day , but always at least 1. At 2 yrs I relapsed and eventually ended up on the streets. I was in treatment center and in and out of jail again. Sometimes the police would just take me to the Detox, where I could get sober and leave after 4 days. I had given up, and only showed up to AA for the coffee and/or because it was cold outside. somehow GOD had mercy on me and AA started to work again. I started to put sobriety together and then would relapse. this went on for around 3 years. I had gotten my life together but I was still struggling. When I was 27 yrs old I had my last drink. I had been sober for 3 months and picked it up and GOD touched me and gave me a look into my future and asked "is this what you want"? That was my last drink 3/1/1995

I am clear minded. My highs and lows aren't out of their perimeter. God has fulfilled promises in me that I didn't know existed. HE has given me so many chances that I cannot even count. and still does. I have 4 kids and a beautiful wife that I wouldn't change the world for. I haven't had a desire to drink for a long long time. GOD has taken that monkey off my back.