Skip Sams

Before I got sober, I had sabotaged every opportunity for success because I didn’t believe I was worthy of it. I had lost my life’s purpose. I used to say that I had lost everything: my relationships, my home, and my music career. The truth is, I gave them up. My higher power became the drug. I lived to use and I used to live. I remember the day I decided to close my recording studio so that I could become a meth dealer. This is why I can't say I lost my music career, I consciously gave it up.

I woke up (or came to) one morning and thought "today the pain ends" and decided I would walk over to the train tracks and jump. I was 39 and I never envisioned my life past 40. I was suicidal and felt as though no one on earth could feel as lonely as I did. "Just go do it". But suddenly, there was this other thought process that started. If I was forty and messed up the last 20 years, what if I did something meaning full for the next 20 years to make up for it? Then I would only be 60 and 60 is not that old anymore! Wow, then I could have 20 more years and be 80! Then there is the thought that changed everything, "Skip, your life doesn't have to be over, it could be half over." That was the Gift Of Desperation. I got up and got on the train to go to get help. I ended up in rehab for two months. As soon as I got there, I began to feel this great joy knowing that I was getting sober FOR ME! I had tried before, but it was always for other people. This time it was because I wanted to live.

I had always been a musician, but even after I got sober I found that I was unable to tap into my musical talents. My hands were so uncoordinated, I couldn’t play a simple chord on the piano. The muscles in my throat were so out of tune with the neurological messages from my brain that there were times I forgot how to swallow, let alone sing.

Craving a creative outlet, I started taking art classes at a community college. I did not paint the finest still-life, but working with my hands began to reconnect my neurological wiring. My grades improved from D’s to B’s, I sold a couple of oil paintings, and I found satisfaction in designing and making stained glass.

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Then came another thought that changed everything: If I could start from scratch and become a decent visual artist, why couldn’t I go back to school and learn music again? I may not have the skills I used to have, but I could develop new ones. I could bring back the musician in me that was still alive somewhere.

Since I started this process in 2006, my music dreams have manifested in a variety of forms. I got a Master of Music degree from the University of Miami, began scoring award-winning films, and stumbled into a gig as a radio host. My career in music was rebooted. It has been my privilege to score several award-winning films; perform in professional musicals; to co-found an elementary school dedicated to performing arts; produce and record many studio tracks; join a band with other recovering musicians; and study tap with a world-renowned dancer/teacher for 18 months in New York.

I am known for my extreme optimism, but that doesn’t mean my journey has been all sunshine and rainbows. I have experienced grief from losing a life partner, suffered lapses of mania and depression, as well as periods of a severe financial crisis. But I have been able to do so without turning to alcohol or drugs. I have not harmed myself or others. Through it all, I have kept my integrity and faced challenges with courage.

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I built a support system that included professional doctors and mentors who have also been through this process of transformation. I found new tools and a new understanding of self-care. In addition to staying sober, I stopped a 22-year smoking habit, lost 60 pounds, and built loving relationships based on trust and respect. All of these are outward manifestations of an inward transformation.

I returned to the University of Miami for their Professional Coach Certification program which is accredited by the International Coach Federation (ICF). profession.

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Today, I work with musicians and artists in recovery who are ready to reclaim their creativity or use their tools of recovery and use their talents to carry the message. Being sober is not just about abstinence, it is about recovering the person you were born to be.

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