Jessica Neff

I'm a mom of three girls, and from the outside, I looked like I had an amazing life. A beautiful family, a successful business, vacations, and everything I thought I needed to be happy.

But behind closed doors, I was an alcoholic.

I drank tequila and skinny margaritas in amounts that terrify me when I think about them today. I never started before 11 AM, but once I started, I couldn't stop. I hid tequila bottles, lied about my drinking, and made promises to myself over and over that I would stop.

And the worst part? I KNEW alcohol was destroying my life, hurting my girls, and taking away everything I loved. Yet I STILL couldn't stop.

Imagine being addicted to the very thing that's destroying your entire life. Your brain keeps telling you that you NEED it, even when you know it's killing you.

I was successful, I was a mom, and I looked like I had everything together. But I was absolutely miserable and losing myself to alcohol.

In February 2025, my alcoholism took me to one of the darkest places of my entire life. I attempted to take my own life while intoxicated. Looking back, it absolutely breaks my heart to think about how much pain I was in.

I went to rehab, but getting sober wasn't some magical overnight transformation. I relapsed. I struggled. I knew I had to stop drinking, but actually doing it was SO much harder than I ever imagined.

Eventually, I had to accept something that changed everything for me: I cannot drink like a normal person. I never will be able to.

One shot of tequila or one skinny margarita could send me right back into the nightmare I worked so hard to escape.

I started going to AA meetings, got a sponsor, and surrounded myself with people who understood exactly what I was going through.

I had to stop thinking I could somehow control my drinking and start fighting for a life without alcohol.

And I had three girls who deserved a healthy, happy, and present mom.

One is too many, and a thousand is never enough.

Today, I am 379 DAYS SOBER!! And I am so freaking thankful I don't have to live that way anymore.

I wake up without hangovers. I remember my conversations. I'm present for my girls. I can celebrate holidays, go on vacations, get dressed up, laugh, and have SO much fun without alcohol.

But I also want to be honest. Sobriety hasn't magically fixed every problem in my life.

There are still hard days. There are still moments when I miss drinking. Sometimes, even walking into H-E-B or going to a Mexican restaurant can bring back those old feelings.

But I don't have to drink over those feelings anymore.

I go to AA, lean on the people who understand me, and take my sobriety one day at a time.

I share my journey publicly on Instagram because I know there are women out there who look like they have it all together but are secretly fighting the exact same battle I was.

If you're struggling with addiction right now, I want you to know that I understand the guilt, the shame, and the feeling of being completely trapped.

I wouldn't wish that life on ANYONE.

But I promise there is so much life waiting for you on the other side of alcohol.

I never imagined I would be celebrating over a year sober. And today, I am so proud of the woman I'm becoming.

I'm not just surviving anymore. I'm actually LIVING. 🤍