Name: Hilary McLeod

Age: 36

Sober Since: 04 / 04 / 2021

Sober For: 2 Years & 329 Days

What it was like?

My husband and I stayed drunk and high since the summer of 2014. It was so blinding how out of control we were. The saddest point of my life is that I was actually happy that I was able to wake up and drink without feeling sick! Like I felt that was an accomplishment.

What happened?

My husband and I split up in the summer of 2016 because of something that may or may not have truly happened. I was living in our home with our 2 daughters with no power and I continued on drinking and drugging and leaving my kids across the street with a sitter. Shit got so bad and I ended up in the drunk tank, when I woke up I was served a letter stating my children were removed from the sitters by MCFD and I was not to contact them in anyway. I was so broken and guess what I did? My selfish self said fuck it and I continued on partying and eventually moved out. I tried my hardest to sober on days that I could meet my kids at the MCFD office to have a visit. About 3 months went by and my husband had contacted me and we went from there. I made my way to him and we starterd over. We eventually got our kids back and we moved into our new home with them and once again we continued on our drunking drugged out path. So MCFD had come by again and removed our children. That was tough I cried so hard and we planned we were going to run with them but my husband had said it wasn't a good idea cause that would be kidnapping. We once again said fuck it and partied 2 months straight. I finally decided I was going away to treatment and so did my husband. I left and I did 64 days and my husband did 21 days. When I returned back my inlaws took us out for breakfast and they ordered beer. From there we started drinking again. We hid our alcoholism from everyone I even had one step left to get my kids back and that was to move into the transition house. I did and 2 days later my kids were returned to me. We found a home to move into and we stayed sober for a couple weeks. One day I went downtown and ran into an old friend at the bus stop he passed me a gram and said merry Christmas! Omg that rush was back! I raced back home and showed my husband and we did it and we continued on getting high and drunk. It was such a shitty life and it was the same again always fighting... I remember laying there after a night of getting high and drunk crying just praying a fkn miracle would happen and some day we would try to be clean and sober and blow our money on food and bills so we wouldn't have money to buy it. But guess what we always found a way! Then April 3rd 2021 we finished our 8 ball and drinks and passed out eventually.. we woke up April 4th 2021 and we just didn't discuss anything we didn't buy anything it was like something came over us and we quit without thinking we did thab a couple weeks went by and we were still sober and clean!! We haven't had one relapse and still going strong!

What it is like now?

Our lives are amazing now FINALLY!! I love my family with all that I am and we will continue to be the best we can be! We have accomplished so much in life and all 3 of our children are happy!! Our son has lived with my parents since 2013 and I'm so thankful for them because not only did they take my son and raise him they still share him with me alot and they are always there to support us all the time!! Also I quit smoking cigarettes November 11th 2023!! That's huge for me! So guess what? MIRACLES do come true!! Once u get a grasp on it take it run baby!! Good!!

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