What it was like?

For about the last 5~6 years of my drinking addiction, I was a black out drinker. It was an extremely rare occasion when I would NOT drink until I blacked out. Thankfully, I had a group of friends I hung out with that would look after me and make sure I didn't hurt myself or anyone else! Also, in that time period, I had a very low self esteem. I remember many occasions when I was getting ready to go out I would look in the mirror and not really care if that was the last time I saw my reflection... I didn't care if I lived or died. I wasn't suicidal but I really didn't care if I drank myself to death.

What happened?

One Friday night, June 3rd, 2005, I had a fist fight with one of my best friends over a girl. I ended up getting chipped front teeth and 7 stitches in my lip. After I left the hospital that night, I proceeded to continue drinking. Next day, I proceeded to drink heavily with that same friend for that afternoon and into the night. Waking up Sunday morning, I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror.... stitches in my lip, chipped teeth, looking like death and a shell of the person I had once been. I decided right then and there that drinking was killing me and I finally gave myself the life or death ultimatum. If I continue drinking, I WILL most certainly die! I needed to quit drinking and quit IMMEDIATELY because, for the first time in many years, I finally began caring about myself and caring about my life.

What it is like now?

I have been sober since June 6, 2005 and I feel excellent. I am now married, have an awesome job and I am LOVING LIFE!!!