May 18, 2018 | By Tim Stoddart
This Girl Clawed Her Eyes Out While High On Meth
Addiction & Recovery News Methamphetamine Addiction
Photo: Ken Ruinard/Independent Mail
“Just over a month ago, I could see. Or maybe I should put it this way: I had both my eyes, but they didn’t help me notice how dangerous my life had become. Then, on February 6, my world went black.”
Kaylee Muthart, 20, injected what she now believes was tainted meth into her body. She was still high the next day and saw hallucinations that made her believe pulling out her eyes was a way to save the world. Since then, Kaylee’s story has gone viral. She’s recently been interviewed by Cosmopolitan, and appeared on The Dr. Oz Show, claiming that, “life is more beautiful than ever,” and sharing her message of hope even through her life-changing tragedy.
“I Tried To Stop. I Carried It In My Pocket To Prove “This Stuff Is My Bitch'”
“I want people to know they shouldn’t use drugs,” Muthart told the Independent Mail earlier this month. “It manipulates your thought process. Marijuana is a gateway drug. I used to think it wasn’t but it is.”
Muthart said her meth use began months before she pulled out her eyes, when she believes someone spiked marijuana with meth or some other drug. She later began using meth herself.
In her interview with cosmopolitan, Kaylee explains how she began to resort to drugs:
“I didn’t have a job and my relationship with my boyfriend of two years began to deteriorate. To cope, I kept smoking pot and drinking alcohol and started taking Xanax recreationally. On the verge of our breakup, I had a mental breakdown. Months later, in February 2018, I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. It made sense, since when I felt happy, I felt super happy, and when I felt down, I felt deeply depressed. The turbulence left me especially susceptible to drug abuse, my doctors later told me.”
Over time, Kaylee began befriending those who resorted to drugs like herself. She claims she was lonely, and unhappy, but sought out laced marijuana to feel the way she had once felt on it – at peace. As months passed, Kaylee decided to smoke crystal meth for the first time with a friend.
After seeing a video of herself on the drug of herself, Kaylee swore off the drug and turned to Ecstasy. However, over time, resorted back to meth. She notes, “Two or three times, I tried to stop: I carried meth in my pocket all day as if to prove, “This stuff is my bitch,” but I always ended up taking it.
The Day Life Went Dark
The fateful day came that made Kaylee’s story viral. As timing would have it, Kaylee’s Mother had sought out the help of a treatment facility, however the help had come too late. Now Kaylee has turned the moment her world went dark to a day of freedom and inspiration despite – her trials and tribulations. Kaylee explains that day and her psychosis in depth:
“On the morning of Tuesday, February 6, I was still high. I was hallucinating, so my memories are fuzzy, but based on what I remember and details I’ve pieced together from other witnesses, here’s what happened: Thinking the friend I’d gotten high with had gone to church, I wandered there along a railroad track. Even though it was 10:30 in the morning, everything looked dark and gloomy apart from a light post, where I thought a white bird was perched.”
“It was then I remember thinking that someone had to sacrifice something important to right the world, and that person was me. I thought everything would end abruptly, and everyone would die, if I didn’t tear out my eyes immediately. I don’t know how I came to that conclusion, but I felt it was, without doubt, the right, rational thing to do immediately.”
Then, with her middle and pointer finger, Kaylee clawed her own eyes out. While all this was happening, Murthart’s Mother was on the way to the courthouse with her recording to legally get the 20-year-old committed.
After being found by a pastor, Kaylee was airlifted to a hospital in South Carolina. At the hospital, doctors performed emergency surgery to remove what was left of her eyes to preserve her optic nerves and prevent infection.
“Life Is More Beautiful Than Ever”
Two days later, Kaylee woke up, forever changed. “At that point, the sedatives and traces of recreational drugs were still in my system, but I remembered what happened. Everything was dark, and I knew I was blind, but when I sensed my mom by my side, I knew I would be okay,” she stated.
In a recent interview on the Dr. Oz show, Kaylee stated that her life is more beautiful than ever despite being blind – stated with a demeanor of gratitude and eloquence. In her interview it Comsopolitan, she noted, “of course there are times when I get really upset about my situation, particularly on nights when I can’t fall asleep. But truthfully, I’m happier now than I was before all this happened. I’d rather be blind than dependent on drugs. It took losing my sight to get me back on the right path, but from the bottom of my heart, I’m so glad I’m here.”
In previous interviews, Muthart said talking about her ordeal has helped her. She is working with mental health experts who agree that reaching others is a positive part of her recovery. Once Kaylee’s eye sockets are fully healed, she’ll receive prosthetic eyes to fill her face, though they won’t help her see.
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Kaylee has been learning to cope with her blindness and is using playing cards to learn Braille and has returned to studying the Bible. Muthart’s Mother has created a “GoFundMe” account to help raise funds to get her a service dog as well as medical expenses. You can donate here.
Travis Bickle
6 years ago
So sick of hearing the, “laced marijuana” nonsense. Pot dealers don’t add more expensive drugs to their pot. It is a ridiculous claim and although it may have happened 40+ years, it very rarely happens now. This girl is still in denial if you ask me. And alcohol is the biggest gateway drug, not marijuana.
Kelly Berry-Petrie
6 years ago
Alcohol is the gateway drug! Fully agree. 9yrs sober here and I enjoy the odd joint here and there. Nothing good happened to me but rage and violent mood swings when I drank. I would black out and say horrible things to people I loved. Does pot do that? ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! Let’s face it, POT is a natural herb. It’s the people that decide to venture into harsh drugs, not POT!!!
Scott Petermann
6 years ago
Sober is 100% drug free hate to break it to you friend . Good luck with marijuana maintenance. Normal people who don’t have drug or alcohol problems definitely don’t spent time looking on a “sober” website. Doesn’t that explain something to you about your condition? No normal person who doesn’t have a problem never is like. Ya know! Maybe I’ll search Google looking for a website about sobreity. Lol just my two cents friend.
TASHA ALICEA
6 years ago
Then wtf u here then if your always sober I just decided to look up this girl to show her off to a friend on her method acid whatever trip she was on so what does that make you to so happen to repond in shit
Scott Petermann
6 years ago
Travis I have to disagree. She stated it was laced with Meth but didn’t say that the dealer or the pot came with. Dude if you are at a party how do you know that the guy packing the bowl doesn’t put some crystal in there to make things more interesting. That’s like saying nobody ever got a date rape drug at a club in a girls drink. So you are probably pro marijuana? Let me ask you this how is your life going? Is it perfect and couldn’t get any better? The problem with pot smokers is that majority don’t see a problem with it. However, ask 20 pot smokers randomly if they ever tried hardcore illicit drugs and I bet you more than 75% probably have. Ask 20 non pot smokers if they have tried illicit hardcore drugs and I bet you less than 30% will tell you they have. Just saying bro, don’t hate on an article that is speaking of recovery and someone getting better. She did state pot gateway her. I can state pot did the same for me as well. Started with pot, then booze, then pills, then hardcore stuff. I’m sober 5+ years today but let me say if I would of never picked up weed at a very early age then I would of way less chances of going onto addiction and more hardcore drugs. Peace and love brother
Travis Bickle
6 years ago
Why don’t you read this and stop with your absurd observations and opinions:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2016/01/06/the-real-gateway-drug-thats-everywhere-and-legal/
Scott Petermann
6 years ago
Hey dude. I don’t have time or care to argue with someone who is blinded to what addiction is and is possibly an addict himself. Good luck on your journey!
Travis Bickle
6 years ago
I am a recovering alcoholic. I have more experience with addiction than I could ever explain to you since you comment on my post and then say you don’t want to argue. I never said I currently use cannabis either, not sure where that came from. I am simply showing you that your assumptions are absolutely incorrect, with an actual reference to an actual scientific analysis. Your ignorance is a problem shared with too many others and therefore you need to be called out on your bullshit.
Scott Petermann
6 years ago
Okay well wherever you learned about recovery bro is obviously a grey area . In AA we believe or CA that any mind altering substance is no good. So why argue that marijuana isnt a problem? Why say it doesn’t lead to other stuff . If I had to say. Your a know it all. Right!? Dude we all have our opinion but if you think marijuana is all good and not a gateway then why don’t you smoke it? Might as well if it won’t hurt you?! See my point . I haven’t verbally attacked you and called you absurd and/or ignorant have I? Look sounds like a personal problem . Ever heard that bullies bully because they are insecure about themselves?
Travis Bickle
6 years ago
I’m not bullying you. If you feel that way, I am sorry. But when you make broad, sweeping statements that are categorically and scientifically incorrect you have to expect some blowback. Let me ask you, do you consider caffeine and nicotine to be mind altering substances? I have NEVER been to an AA meeting that did not serve coffee inside and have members smoking cigarettes outside. I secretary AA meetings regularly. I have also attended MA and NA meetings, both had plenty of coffee to drink. I’m not sure what CA is in context to your reference so I won’t speak to that.
Scott Petermann
6 years ago
Cocaine anonymous. Caffiene and Nicotine have different properties to them . Marijuana produces a high. Not in same category. Yes caffiene and Nicotine are categorized as drugs . But they do affect the frontal lobe in the brain like THC does in marijuana. Anyway. Oranges and apples . I have a friend who is a meth addict bro . But everytime he relapsed it started with pot . Then booze, then back to meth . Look it doesn’t matter how it happens. I just have the evidence that marijuana ISN’T safe for any addict or potential addict . Enough said . I won’t return to this post because I won’t change my point of view on this. Peace
Travis Bickle
6 years ago
They are all psychoactive substances. And none of them are good for an addict. You are absolutely correct with that statement. But one is not worse than the other. You’re providing anecdotal evidence to support a claim that is scientifically and
physiologically incorrect. You sound like a good person and I am glad what you are doing works for you. Just don’t spread misinformation. As they say, knowledge is power.
Kelly Berry-Petrie
6 years ago
Hi Scott, I believe that for SOME people pot is a gateway to many other substances but you also have to look at the person themselves and the people they associate with. “Show me your friends, I will show you your future.”
Please don’t criticize my sobriety from alcohol and say that I am not sober because I have smoked before. I am sober from ALCOHOL, not substance. I have never broadened out of the use of pot to other substances because I know they are extremely addictive and have deadly side effects not to mention what it does to your emotions, appearance, and life in general. Why do you think they have NA and AA, 2 different things bud. You are entitled to your opinion as all but know what you are arguing before saying things you know nothing about!
Daniel Baker
6 years ago
dude sounds exactly like what your doing yourself i only had to read a few of your comments to know you are a drug addict and will be for life if having a right wing approach to drug use helps keep u sober good for u
Scott Petermann
6 years ago
I’m recovering alcoholic and addict bro. Your point? It isnt right wing . It’s a true realization of my situation. An honest approach that any mind altering substance cannot enter my body ever or I’m screwed. And will die a miserable alcoholic death . It’s a belief I learned at AA and CA not on fox news homie. Take care
Kelly Berry-Petrie
6 years ago
Nice! Some people should avoid social media when they don’t
know what they are talking about…He, (scott) gave me his 2 cents as well… Can’t argue with people that have no idea what they are talking about.
TASHA ALICEA
6 years ago
Because it has a distinct smell to it if you smoke pot you know the smell of weed but lace has a plastic kinda smell to it
TASHA ALICEA
6 years ago
Pot don’t do that shit I should know I’ve been smoking Marijuana for 25yrs. Never once has it made me hallucinate all it does is calm the mind and mellow you out from pain stress depression and all the stress full shit in life ppl gotta deal with on a daily it’s a God’s drug so yall need to stop talking shit about the natural herbals and worry about the man made shit
Scott Petermann
6 years ago
I wanted to chime back in, in fact most of y’all bashed me only because you disagree with my ideas which are the ideas of AA and recovery . That’s fine for you . I know how my life is going and it’s going great . I don’t need any substance to help with “depression, life in general”. It’s called a spiritual void. In the end haters can hate all you want . If you want a better life then maybe you should go out and get it and not spend time bashing people who were only trying to help people who don’t understand that pot does more damage than good in this world . No pot isn’t going to make you shoot crack tomorrow, but eventually it will get dull and you’ll be somewhere sometime where you use harder and illicit drugs . And then when you do, it takes that one shot of dope to kill a mofo. Peace and love people
GraceTrumpsKarma
6 years ago
Scott – As a fellow member of 12 Step recovery I just want to encourage you to think about how abrasive you may appear to be when talking in absolutes about things you have no idea of. The rooms of 12 Step recovery are meant to be open and welcoming to anyone who has a desire to stop using whatever they are having a hard time putting down on their own. I can no more declare what makes someone sober than I can perform brain surgery while speaking Chinese and playing Twister with my lower appendages – and neither can you. I don’t personally use marijuana but I know plenty of people who do and in some instances it not only does not destroy their life, but actually adds value to it. Recovery is not a “one-size-fits-all” deal, it may surprise you know there are many other effective routes of recovery which do not are not defined by a complete abstinence-based program. Get over yourself and get away from the door of Alcoholics Anonymous, your lack of compassion is blocking the way of someone who may die if they can’t find a way to an open chair.
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