Ok… so you went to treatment and stopped getting high. Now what?
In all seriousness, when I first got sober, my biggest fear was that I wasn’t going to have fun anymore. Drugs and alcohol turned my life into shit, but in some strange paradox, they were also the best thing I had. I had no clue how to laugh or smile or enjoy life if I wasn’t at least buzzed.
Now that I have been sober for a little while, I’ve learned that life is way more enjoyable now than it ever was.
Life has it’s ups and downs, but I’ve found ways to enjoy my life that don’t require drugs. Let’s take a look at some things to do now that I quit getting shitfaced.
1 – Working Out
For me, exercise has probably been the most important thing. When I am working out, I am not thinking about anything. I am not anxious about work, I am not worried about the future or if anyone is pissed at me. I am just in the moment focusing on my workout.
Running has really become my form of meditation. Not to mention the “high” I get after a hard workout is really comparable to any other high I used to get. I feel healthy, I like the way I look and it keeps me mentally sharp. Not everyone may feel the same, but I have found exercise to be important for my spiritual life. It keeps things in perspective for me.
2 – Eating a Good Meal with Friends
Eating a meal with people is one of the best ways to get to know each other. Food is and always will be a great way to share conversation, culture, and just relate to people in general.
Over time I’ve started to learn a little bit more about food and appreciate it more. When I was hooked on dope, food was just a thing I would put in my belly to keep me alive. Now that I have learned more about it, I really see it as the art form that it is.
Nothing brings people together like food.
3 – Pick Up an Old Hobby
This is going to be different for everyone, because everyone is passionate about different things. The point is that we all have hobbies that we love. Maybe you love to draw, or ride your bike, or write poetry.
When I first got clean I got back into skateboarding. I used to love skating. I would skate for hours and hours. I used to compete in small local competitions. It just made me feel good. When drugs started taking over, obviously skating took a back seat.
I picked it back up again when I got sober. I never competed again, but I really enjoyed just skating around the streets and being back on my board. Put my headphones in, listen to music and just cruise with some friends.
Get back to doing what you love.
4 – Travel. Go See The World!
The world is a fascinating place and travel will expand your mind and your perspective in ways you can’t even understand until you do it on your own.
Travel is expensive. But now that you don’t spend all your money on blow, you can afford to put money aside for trips and vacations! Go you!
Just this last year I went to Scotland for a cousins wedding. My best friends and I went to Las Vegas and then drove across the desert to Los Angeles. We rented a camper and went to Bonnaroo. I went to New Orleans with one of my best friends. I’ve been able to go back up north to Philly and Manhattan a few times to see my family.
Being able to travel is one of the biggest blessings I have ever received.
5 – Music! Music! Music!
If you aren’t obsessed with music I feel like there is something wrong with you.
Everyone loves music. I personally think music is the greatest creation of man. There is so much great music out there. It’s a lot of fun to research new artists and follow the bands I already love. I like to share new music with friends. I like to grab my guitar and write some music of my own. I go to concerts with friends. I like concerts more now that I am sober than I ever did. I remember the whole thing! 🙂
Music is the shit! If I am feeling down, I just put on a feel good play list and go for a walk. It really helps.
6 – Go Volunteer Your Time
For many people in recovery, sponsoring other addicts and alcoholics is a great way to help out. If you are not a person who goes to meetings or works the steps, you can still volunteer your time and help make the world a better place.
I volunteered at a no kill dog shelter for about a year. It was awesome. I had no money and not a lot of friends so I would just go play with dogs on the weekends. The couple who owned the shelter appreciated it so much. I had to clean up after the dogs, feed them, and clean their pens. I got dirty for sure but these dogs made me so happy.
I have always been a lover and advocate for Pit Bulls and it made me feel good to see people come in and adopt dogs that otherwise would have been put down without my help. But you don’t have to do what I did!
Go work at a food kitchen, go volunteer at a boys and girls club, go outside and clean trash off the street. Getting out of yourself and doing some kind of service will do wonders for your self worth, your self esteem and it just downright feels good.
7 – Nothing at All
No seriously…
When I was using, I had the hardest time sitting still. I felt like I was always missing out on something. I always wanted to be out and about, I always wanted to be with other people or be at the most exciting party.
I am not suggesting to be lazy. If you have shit to do than get it done. But some down time every now and then is really good for you, and it should be enjoyed.
It was very difficult for me to get comfortable with silence, and to learn how to be still. It has been a great learning experience for me. Sometimes it’s okay to sleep in a bit. Sometimes it feels really good to stay in on a Saturday night and hang out with my girlfriend and my dog.
Learning how to stay calm has helped me deal with anxiety and stress. Sometimes the best thing to do, is nothing at all.
I Didn’t Get Sober To Be Bored!
I really mean when I say that my biggest fear in early recovery was that I would never have fun again. The beautiful truth is that recovery has given me the freedom and the confidence to go out in the world and leave my own mark.
My hope is that if you’re reading this, you will understand that you are bound by nothing. Recovery will slowly give you the opportunities to take your life and make the best of it.
There will always be fear and insecurities involved, but if you can get sober, you can do anything! You don’t need drugs to have a good time. Now go out there and live!!
If you have any other activities that you do in recovery, please leave them in the comments section below 🙂
Do you realize the picture of having a good meal with good friends has everyone with either wine or beer in front of them?! How tacky!!
It’s apple juice…
lol nice 🙂
Yeah, no it is definitely not apple juice.
My friend just quit drinking after 5 weeks in rehab and now I feel so guilty for drinking or even if he knows I’m having a drink somewhere. He says it’s fine and doesn’t bother him but it is really true??
I will be 8 months on 8/24, it dosent bother me. The obsession is gone!!
It’s been 14 months (sober ) for me , and struggle doing things constructive with my down time , don’t like boring hobbies (no patience )
Can’t work my business more hours than I have been , good friends and great pair of kids who at 56 years old , had an intervention last February
With me and read me the riot act .. Dad we love you and don’t want to get that call your dead somewhere or possibly sick beyond …. Oh I’m going to be pregnant and you can’t be around my baby
I STOPPED COLD TURKEY , THE NEXT DAY AFTER 40 years of drinking
Powerful shit
Ask your friend , when your not drinking. Ask your friend , when your drinking. You compare.
I’ve been sober 12 yrs and I go out with friends to bars frequently now. Quit after over 35 yrs of drinking, never relapsed.. At first tho I became nauseated just watching alcohol being poured.
My 28 yr old son got out of 30 days in-patient last Tuesday. I am praying he found ways to spend his first weekend of sobriety that will not have alcohol to tempt him. I think time makes it easier for recovering alcoholics to be around drinking. Those recently sober should avoid temptation no matter what they may say.
Son was supposed to go to his college homecoming this weekend. He had the good sense to cancel despite losing hotel deposits and upsetting frat brothers.
Lol…wow…love the answer! Amazing how someone can judge from a photo. Thanks for your great site and inspiration!! :^)
Some have the problem with me not drinking but they get over it going on 7 years and glad I stopped!
Just because we get sober doesn’t mean people can’t have a drink at dinner. Get real.
Some people like myself can’t just have one though… sure, one at dinner is fine, I could do that… went down well… hmm quite liked that, next meal another beer it is, oh go on then might aswell just have 2, got a handle on it now 🙂 would just be cheaper to buy 8 aand keep them in the fridge… oh dear there all gone need more etc… I wish I could just have one with my dinner, but that’s where it all starts! Not arsed though, I’m never skint, healthier than I’ve ever been, im in great shape, taking driving lessons, focusing on the future… only been off the pop for 2 months and my life has changed dramatically. .. If I’m having a drink with my dinner, il have half a glass of orange juice topped up with lemonade, a little bit of ice and some sliced fruit please 🙂 I don’t need a beer to relax and be myself, I already have the ability to let loose, I feel no shame and am confident enough as it is 🙂
Thanks I needed to read that. Have a great day and good luck.
Just because YOU choose not to drink, doesn’t mean that your friends HAVE too….
You’re focusing on the wrong thing .
I was just gonna repeat what Quitten says. It’s my problem not theirs.
Why knit pick a dam picture?! Obviously you didn’t read the words dumbass
Shows you what her outlook on life really is. 🙂 Thank you all for sharing. Stay happy people!!
Loved reading this
We are 55 years old me and my Beautiful Wife and 23 years Sober this month
It’s been a wonderful journey walking this sober road
We spent 10 years together in drinking and now 23 years in Sobriety.
Love you all
Your story is a very familiar one…..
Atfirst, my wife was the only one I wanted to drink with…..
Being sober with her is so much better…. 9 years july…
My husband and I decided to stop drinking today – we have 2 beautiful daughters still at home and want to be better examples for them. I like the article, and it’s great to see the posts from couples who have quit together – I hope we can do it, I think it will be well worth it, as it sounds like it has been for you.
The fact of the matter is that other people can have drinks if they want to and the author and myself and hopefully other strong quitters wouldn’t be tempted to order a drink just because others do.
my wife will be getting out of a sober living soon after 30 days an we also hope to follow your same path
I take 12 step meetings into the jail twice a week Friday for men and Saturday for ladies.Seeing them out on the street clean and sober is a feeling nothing matches.
Thank you. My husband and I both got sober together six years ago. He’s 57 and I’m 64. What a difference being sober has made in our lives. Peace be with you and your bride.
This gives me hope.
I’ve been sober for 3 mo now. Not Cause of choice but I was forced . But since I’ve been sober I can actually pay attention to the world. Not going to lie I really really miss drinKing. My family friends. …all of them drink so this is really hard. But I’m not sick anymore, Don’tt shake, my health is great… but I’ll always be an alcoholic just need to learn ways to deal with my cravings.
congrats! And good luck!!
Well said. What a lovely article. Shame people have to ruin it with pathetic comments. Er tacky yourself. Xxx
Yoga and getting my degree 🙂
Nice :] well done!
That’s all good,but with no money aloof it,no most impossible at this time.im not giving up,not at all.just lookin for a job and a way out of this rut!
Aloof it ?what was that?sorry,hate text
I have recently started working out. Love it. A little bit each day. started at 5 min cardio every other day and now up to 30 min. 4 days a week and strength training. working full time but i chose a job that i enjoy doing and i look forward to going to work and having fun with the people i work with . Living sober is good. Let something good happen to me and through me today. amen
I’m almost at 3 years and it’s taken me some time to allow myself to have fun. I initially thought getting sober was penance but now I know I had the whole thing upside down. Sobriety is freedom and I am so grateful
I have been sober for just over 10 months I find reading really helps, learning new coping skills as well. Understanding the full means of addiction.
GAME Nights! Love getting together with friends and playing games…charades, cards, hoopla, taboo, apples to apples and let the good times and laughs roll!
essentially a list of all the best things to do while drinking.. especially #6
IVE BEEN SOBER FOR 6 YERAS NOW I’M 29 YRS OLD AND FOR.SURE.LIFE IS.WAAAAAY.BETTER CLEAN….I PRACTICE MY 12 STEPS PLUSTRY TO HAVE A SPIRITUAL LIFE LIKE MEDITATION SPIRITUAL BOOKS LIKE. RAMTHA OR.OSHO PLUS THE AA BOOKS WORKING OUT AS WELL GOOD DIET LOVE MUSIC AND.YES.I.LOVEEEED WHAT YOU SAID.ABOUT SOMETIMES.JUST RELAX AND.LAY BACK IN.A.CALM MIND I…STAY SOBER AND BUILD UP YOUR RELATION WITH HIGHER POWER OR GOD WE ALL NEEDED
LOVE AND ENJOY MY MENTAL SILENCE AND PEACE AND I.DO.IT MANY TIMES A DAY LOVE IT SO MUCH
*YOGA*healing journeys – HOTSPRINGS, retreats, weekends for journalling and R&R*learn*book studies*festivals*live sporting events*host a clothing exchange with friends*make friends with a kid*get a pet*
Hi! I really like your website thank you for this awesome message to the world! 😀 I do workout three times a week, playing basketball, and play on drum. I like to write, to create stories. 🙂 Again thank you and have a successful and happy life!
I got clean from drugs May of 2013 and it was the best decision I’ve ever made. Granted I did gain some weight but I guess that was bound to happen considering I barely ate for 6 years. I met the love of my life almost a year ago and there’s no way I could of done that if I was still hiding in a closet hitting a pipe all day and night. I can’t say I’m sober because I do still drink occasionally but man, quitting dope and other party drugs made my life so amazing. Continue doing what you’re doing! It works if you work it 🙂
This was crazy
I 100% agree. I have done my first half marathon and started doing triathlon since I stopped drinking- and got addicted! I met my future husband because I wasn’t so drunk all the time to not remember people I met.
The only downside is I am quite an anxious person and I struggle with house parties etc – being around lots of drunk people can be intimidating to me.
But I love my sport- and like you said going for meals, the movies etc
Really great post
Done!!! Hello prescription pain pian pills I miss you. Only been three days and I don’t know who I am with out you. I’m scared really scared to be 59 and be this scared. I want you putt of my life for good. You and I together have destroyed so much of my life. I’m
Turn to Christ; ask Him for help – you will receive peace . The key is to TRUST
I started exercising regularly, traveling, reading, cooking and spending time with family 🙂 I feel like I am finally free and can enjoy all of these things I missed out on.
Do some volunteer work. It’ll feel good and also put you in touch with more people which in turn increases your job possibilities. Only good will come of it. Keep going in the positive direction and good things will comeyour way.
I have started my own business ever since quitting drugs and alcohol. It is my creative outlet as well as social. I run a raw vegan catering company called
Coconuts & Chaos Cafe
and embrace a more natural lifestyle. Yoga, meditation, spiritual living all connect together and blend very well with my business. I am learning so much, I hardly notice most times that “I’m missing out” as you’ve described, although it does sting sometimes. Looking at photos of events that I have little interest in attending because I will be sober & get bored after a short period… I go to very few event like that now.
I am starting to experiment with Kombucha & really appreciate the value a real Tonic can deliver to the body rather than the harm of alcohol.
If I feel like I’m missing out, I’ll pop a shot of ACV (Apple cider vinegar) which has PH balancing qualities, energy boosters and weightless benefits.
I learn how much I am gaining from sustaining instead of what I am missing.
Angell Scarlet
Yeah I quit booze 9 years ago when my wife told me it was her or Jack Daniels. She was pregnant and told me good luck seeing the kid as an alcoholic. So I quit cold turkey and started exercising. I didn’t go to rehab or AA. My childhood wasn’t awesome but I couldn’t bare to listen to people who went on about how their sad circumstances led then to drink or drug. My younger brother had the same crappy childhood and never has gotten high once in his life. I drank cause I liked getting drunk. Plain and simple. Plus I don’t believe in god and reject “I’m helpless routine.”
I Ran some half marathons a year later. We went on to have a second child and they ask me sometimes why I don’t drink wine like momma does and I say I don’t like it. I’ll wait till they’re older to explain. I still exercise and lift weights regularly and alcohol doesn’t figure in to my thinking at all anymore.
My life is good but no magical epiphany or “how awesome life is.” I’m still a little grumpy but live a good life and my kids never will see a drunk dad like the one I grew up with.
Why did you post this???
Have you ever been to an AA meeting? Not enough to actually have realistic idea of what it’s about obviously. I wouldn’t butcher something that you don’t know much about and could potentially help some people reading this article. AA isn’t religious its spiritual and you choose your own god. “I just like to get drunk”…hit a few more meetings and you’ll figure out why. People with lousy pasts choose a lot of different types of outlets, some of us have just chose alcohol instead of other things that’s why AA is here and it’s saved millions of lives.
Some good can only come out of what you put into it. Sobriety is the important thing.
I went to AA meetings a bunch of times and found it depressing and sad, when you’re recovering from alcohol/drug abuse having the outlet of being able to vent is nice but listening to people talk about there horrible stories(because some of them are horrible) does not help some people in anyways. Im glad that it helped you but to tell someone who has gone that they dont know what they are talking about because it didn’t meet there needs of recovering is just ignorant. There are many people that “used just to use” without a sole reason behind it. Id try and understand someones point of view before responding to them like you are a better person.
I found something similar as Jb with the few times I went to NA and AA. They all bummed me out and I left all of the jonzing.
“Cold Turkey” was the only way that I was able to stay clean.
That, and having a good friend that stopped by in the morning to light a smoke for me.
I think you missed you guys point . He was merely stating that AA wasn’t the way forward for him personally .” I just like(d) getting drunk” is a perfectly reasonable statement – I drink far too much and have no excuses to make for it nor any lousy past to blame it on – if it doesn’t go any deeper than that then any amount of spiritual awakening and soul searching isn’t going to make to a scrap of difference in respect of your desire to make any sort of change ….
I found that without alcohol in my life I can really focus on my health. I am eating healthier and working out a lot more. I am probably more fit that I was 10 years ago in my 40s. It was totally a positive change. A really good book I read is called The Easy Way to Control Alcohol by Allen Carr. Mr. Carr blows apart all those reasons (excuses) for numbing our minds and bodies. It was pivotal for me. I am today one year sober. Yahooooo!!!
I quit smoking cigs using allen carrs ez way book . Quit cold turkey….just need to focus on the alcohol now and i do believe my life will be far better once i accomplish quitting drinking. Its been since sept.20 2015 since i touched a cig. I cant stand the way they smell now
I have been sober for 3 months now as well, and was forced too. Being able to hold a glass without spilling it everywhere is something i can very well relate to. There is a program called SMART recovery, google it if your interested. It is based on rational emotive behavioral therapy. It does not believe you are powerless over your addiction, infact it believes you are the only one with power over it. Its about learning triggers and how to understand them and deal with them. It does not rely on the mystical aspect of which AA is completely based upon, or “god of your understanding” as they put it. An interesting read for those who are more logical thinkers. I have also had to release myself from any family or friends I have ever known. I will miss my adventures, none of which I regret. Im volunteering at an animal shelter and a food bank at the moment, and its doing wonders for me…I still have yet to figure out what people mean by “high off life” but I am intrigued. I find myself spending a lot of time alone, not as much in depression, but just something like watching a sunset fills me with peace. Stopping randomly to just look in awe at the world around me. Ever want to chat let me know.
I’d like to chat. My email is rgquarles@hotmail.com I have been sober once before. For a year. I have been messing up for about a year off and on now. Not a huge a.a. fan. Going to check out SMART.
I’d like to chat too! V.borough@gmail.com
I believe recovery start with for me a spiritual awakening done a lot of reading a text of A.A. an N.Athen finding the sponsor that is not a pushover someone who will call me on my bullshit and because I was so sick back in 06 I got two sponsors 1 Orlando 1 Kissimmee started working steps many times over but each and every day I work the tenth step because I have to be honest with myself unapologetic to anybody that I have harmed that day with words or something I did.I do not lie or steal or if in a relationship cheat the promises are coming true for me in so many different ways.I might be wrong by saying this.it was not the rooms they got me sober and kept me sober and clean it was the individuals in the rooms their messages they’re sharing their honesty their love for each and every individual they came through the doors for me the spiritual awakening I had in 2006 December 9th started me on a path of gratitude love for my fellow human being and all creation of my higher power I mean this I will not kill anything not even a cockroach the Lord has put each thing in the world he created for purpose and to destroy hurt Mistry anything he created will go against everything that the fellowships and my spiritual awakening has given them people love me now friends call me and text me I have people who send me friendship request nothing is impossible if you keep doing the next right then there is so much more to say but if you’re one of the fellowships I’m sure you know what I’m talking about I’m happy joyous and free and wish this for you to know everyone goodnight and God Bless each and everyone of you each day of 2015
I believe that AA and NA are both A Joke. I think people should let people drink or whatever they do, as long as you’re doing it inside a safe place. No one shall be able to judge or tell you to quit.
Great stuff! I haven’t had a drink in over 5 months and personally agree with the majority of this article. The only thing that I personally found scary were some of the locations you chose to travel to. Bonnaroo, in my own experience, was a 5 day booze and drug bender. It’d be a huge trigger for me to visit a place like Vegas, New Orleans or Scotland, places well know for there drinking culture. Just my thoughts, thanks a lot for sharing yours!!
i went back to university – success was never this achievable!
I will take my worse day sober over my best day drunk and high anyday of the year.
We are creative people who lacked confidence in ourselves. Thus, the creative side lie dormant. If you even think you have an interest, pursue it. Hobbies of a creative nature are self – fulfilling and others get to share the beauty of your worksm
1 month sober. I have my confidence back
Life just seems easier when I’m sober. I’m enjoying my work again.
I feel blessed to have my families love and support
I’ve been 4 months sober and have no addictions except to have no addictions. The article is very positive and I hope that it in someway can reach ” hardcore ” users too. Thanks. I’ve become interested in addiction books presently ” In the realm of hungry ghosts ” by Gabor Mate MD.
This is a fantastic article that had me reliving my biggest fear in sobriety. The more I talk with recovering addicts/alcoholics, the more I realize how much alike we truly are! Our fear of boredom…of life without fun is perhaps the most daunting thought going in. I remember wondering if I would ever enjoy life without booze. The transition can be hard at times, but as the author suggests, exercise and hobbies help us forget pretty quickly in our journey back. And it is a road back because none of us set out to lose ourselves and all we cared about to a substance. Thank you for the uplifting read, it’s a perfect reminder of just how good life is when we’re living it sober!!!
Very good blog any one can get help from it.
I know of someone who doesn’t drink at all……..who had a boyfriend that did drink. He drank everyday. But since his girlfriend made it clear she didn’t like drinking he hid how much he drank from her. She was fine with him having an occasional beer as a compromise but didn’t want it to be a big important part of his life. But everyday he did one or more shots of whiskey or drank beer. She just didn’t know it. Once she figured out he was drinking way more than she felt acceptable she did research trying to understand alcohol consumption. She came to the conclusion she thought he was an alcoholic. She presented this to him and he was willing to stop drinking. He stopped on his own for a couple of months. But then one day she came home and found him passed out on the floor. She had help getting him to the car and took him to the hospital because she wasn’t sure what to do. He felt terrible and apologized. He said he didn’t remember where the alcohol came from or even drinking it. But she found the empty whiskey bottle hidden in the closet. He told her that some of his happiest memories were of when he was drinking with his brother and his girlfriend. That was the most fun time of life for him. Great memories. He insisted that he didn’t drink to the point of being drunk. When is someone considered drunk? So he did give up drinking for two months but he was sad because life just wasn’t as much fun with alcohol. This boyfriend really did see life as better and more fun with alcohol. So what does this mean? Has he just not hit bottom yet? They broke up because of this alcohol disagreement. He chose his love of the bottle over his love of a sweet, caring, beautiful young woman. He seemed to love her. And he isn’t the kind of guy who gets a lot of women noticing him. So does this mean he is an alcoholic?
It was suppose to say “without alcohol”. Life wasn’t as much fun without alcohol.
Being bored at 2 a.m, the time most of us were used to hanging with friends in karaoke bars and pool halls is a lot different than bored on sunny afternoons, early pre-dinner evenings. Especially in the PNW. It’s cold, wet and dark which is what drove us inside in the first place.
Even harder if you are over 30 or struggling with health issues. (MS)
The list made in response to this is the one that should come up first on a search engine.
My date 9/10/2013 clean/sober date..I go to church on a regular basis….have God helping me stay sober…happy n pray for my family to sober up….I am willing to help ppl with their selves…I am willing to help my fellow ppl struggling. ..
Here is a very new activity to try that should only be done while sober. Target Shooting with airguns. Much like golf it requires focus and concentration but anyone can do it. We play games like hockey, golf, darts, and just plain old bullseye shooting… oh … and balloons… we shoot lots of balloons! Great to do with a group and even when it’s just you and you can focus on you. Our location is indoors so the weather doesn’t affect the fun. We have all the equipment for rent or for sale. The rest is up to you. We don’t have any temptations in our lounge besides soda, coffee, and snacks.
I have just shy of 5 months alcohol free and almost 7 months drug free. I’m in uncharted waters here, as it is the first time in my life (26 years) that I have patched any length of sobriety from anything together since I started using (13 years old). And although it was grueling at first, the metamorphosis is startlingly brilliant and the quality of life that I am experiencing, although it is difficult at times to say the least, is totally unparalleled to anything I’ve ever encountered. Today was also a really good freakin’ day.
In the Big Book it says sometihng along the line of: Now help other alcoholics to stay sober by telling them about your experiences and pitfalls you might have come to do with. This however is only fun for a while though. Other interesting things to do is study about something you might have thought was unreachable by someone with your background or intelligence level and confuse people who thought you were a washout with knowledge that will baffle them. This is a new and fascinating passtime which is enriching me on a day to day basis.
Get some kind of spiritual life. Realize how small you are. Billions upon billions have passed through. How small, and how important.
These are all great ideas but one who does not have a program to recover with us many times more likely to lose sobriety. I would suggest adding going to AA meetings and doing service work as well.
Ps: my sobriety date is March 5, 2013 tomorrow is my 30th month sober anniversary and I am the General Service Representative of my home group, I was the Secretary last year, and I work my local AA hotline…. All this with ( so far one day at a time not drinking) less than 3 years sober and only picking up one white chip, by the grace of God!
I came across this website which I found reay useful. I have never been fun of alchool and drugs and I am proud of not to be. For that reasons I have always been Serbs from others as a lame and excluded from groups because I was not doing the same. For me makes no sense to drink and use alchool and act as a fool and be ridiculous all the times there are others thing in life to do and explore. Because I have never used drugs I often been alone and face my problems sober and I have tried to do all the things listed in this site. Volunteering, hobbies, passions, dinner with friends, and most of all travelling. Travelling is the best thing ever in life. I would add also university .. If you like knowledge and interesting topic to disguss is also a stimulating thing to do in life.
Been sober 3 years 3 months, and my life did improve in many areas, however I’m still struggling with many consequences of my drug and alcohol fueled past. I won’t get into the details, but I’m doing my best to cope and soldier on. It’s nice to read about your stories and cherry pick what pertains to me. Sometimes I feel like my life is a massive and very intricate puzzle. A puzzle with many missing pieces, which cause me much uncertainty and insecurity about my current situation and direction in which I’m headed. After reading your posts, I feel as if I found one of those missing pieces. In my puzzle, this is one of those pieces that needs to be used over and over not just once. I hope you guys find yours missing pieces as well.
I think being sober is boring as shit but you make the best of it.
All these suggestions either require you be amongst “sober” friends or alone. Have you ever traveled alone? Sux…or sat around night after night listening to music…alone? Because all your friends are out partying, traveling & living their lives but drinking or getting high is ALWAYS involved so wtf??
Yeah sober is boring as hell…but I wont trade it for the other alternative ever again.
If spending some time with you sober, is something your”friends” can’t do, then are they “really” friends! Loneliness is a big part of relaspe, finding different friends is hard, just as change is. I wish I had an answer for that, church, volunteering, gym, it’s all up to you. I found what works best is to change my way of thinking to ” I “choose ” not to drink and use, not I “have” to quit drinking or using. Hope things are well for you!
I am in a cycle where I binge drink by myself almost every weekend. It’s putting great strain on my relationship with my girlfriend and personally I know with certainty that I don’t have the control that I once did. I am unable to stop drinking after I start. Some nights I’ll have a few beers and I’m OK. Weekend nights I may end up having 20+ drinks. I feel great when I’m drinking and then the next day I feel like an ass. It’s just embarrassing – I don’t remember who I talked to, I call people and don’t recollect any of the conversations, and then I drunk text and say stupid things that I would never say in a sober state of mind. I’ve been kicked out of numerous bars and usually I don’t remember why. I’ve been party drinking since I was 16 and I’m almost 30. I sat down today in the midst of my hangover and put together a list of all the negative things that have come about due to drinking. It’s pretty exhaustive. Thing is, i’ll feel bad today but come Wednesday I’ll be back in full swing feeling terrific and then I’ll repeat the whole process again. It’s like a viscous cycle and I need to break it or I’m worried all this excessive drinking is going to have harmful effects on my health and relationship. Other hard part is that everybody I know drinks socially – some more than others. I would love to be able to socially drink but I need to learn how to do that in practice. Two years ago I took a break from drinking heavily and started working out a lot – that really helped. I’m therefore planning to start a workout routine again. I just have difficulty trying to set a plan that is actually realistic and achievable. Do I stop drinking for some time – say a month – and clear my head and then drink socially? Or do I set days where I can or cannot drink and put a limit of 2 for those drinking days? Any suggestions from anyone who has done this before? I’m sure I’m not the only one.
Hi Frank,
From what you posted, it sounds like you’ve seen a lot of the negative effects that come with drinking-especially binge drinking. It sounds like you’re pretty tired of the merry go round. Have you considered taking in a 12-step meeting or SMART recovery meeting? You might also consider checking out some outpatient recovery services. When you imbibe in such great quantities you are putting an awful strain on your body, every part of it. You don’t need to decide this minute that you will stop for the rest of your life, but you might want to consider getting some help before your pattern of drinking escalates and you have less insight then you do right now. I hear you saying you want help, and maybe you want a little direction? Good job recognizing that you’re hurting yourself physically and emotionally. I wish you lots of strength on your journey, whatever you decide.
Frank,
I can relate to where you are coming from. I joined an outpatient program and it has helped me take a step back and really think about the negative consequences that can result from “party drinking”. The program I am in is at a hospital and I believe that because it is a part of a medical institution it has taught me and the other people in the program a lot about the science of addiction which, like you, I am not sure I am there yet. I believe that the educational side of this program has really helped me and would recommend taking a look into it for yourself. AA meetings don’t hurt either and they do not require you to admit that you are an alcoholic they simply ask that you are making an effort to quit drinking ( but they don’t ask you for how long). I hope this can help you figure it out and best of luck brotha.
Howdy, not dealing with addiction, just came to read the comments to see how many, (if any?) folk had access to horses? Horses are so healing and wonderfully sensitive. Even if you don’t have unlimited resources, if you ask around…riding stables, farms or post an advertisement…. Offering to clean barns in exchange for riding lessons. You won’t regret it! 🙂
Going on just under 3 years. I was a mess when I was drinking. Lost my wife my fiends and my house. My life has changes in so many good ways. Doors open constantly. Its like a new beginning.
Great article! I’ve been clean for over a decade (I’m 33 years old) and after some major soul searching in my 20’s I have found my way. I used to think I had social anxiety but the fact was I was using and not comfortable in my own skin with not much confidence. I may have seemed like the life of the party but inside I felt totally different. Today, I’m totally in tube with myself, my dreams, and have removed all limiting believes. I live with self-assurance, confidence (not cockiness), and complete joy. I too thought life would be boring after years of partying but it’s quite the opposite. I was so disconnected while using and surely was not living life as I should have been. Today my husband and I travel all over. We just got back from Russia and before this Maine to visit our families. Last summer we went on a cruise to the Bahamas and also stayed at a 5 star resort in the Dominican. Pure bliss. I also wrote my first book. Being creative is something I enjoy. Book is called Dream Big Achieve Bigger: 7 Steps to Attract Anything You Want. Shares how I went from severe substance abuse scraping for a dollar to eat lunch off the McDonald’s dollar menu or to have enough gas and eventually being homeless to now, owning a 6 figure self made business, $30k savings in the bank, excellent credit score, married, living and eating clean, and so much more.
Working out was a big part or my early recovery. It helped a ton. I never believed in anxiety or antidepressant mess so working out was a natural way to feel good again. It worked! Today I live hitting the gym and just having me time. Another fun thing I love to do is visit museums: art, science, history, aquariums…so fun. In the summer I love visiting lakes and oceans. It’s so peaceful and fun to bask in the sun and have complete gratitude for my life and how far I’ve come. I’m still growing as a person and life is truly beautiful. Thank you for the article!!
PS my book hits shelves February 2016. 🙂 Could I send you a free copy?
My husband quit two years ago last april???? Although i was not a big drinker i too quit in support for him. With the money we saved by not drinking we bought a little boat so we can enjoy fishing
two years sober. everything is so damn easy…but, yes, sometimes boring…..read a lot…..watch tv a lot….get out quite a bit but still do crave the ‘fun times’ with alcohol. my tricky mind tries often to convince me i’m good to have just one….but i know enough and am strong enough and since i have no physical cravings anymore, i prevail…for today at least…
Thanks for the tips, I can really empathize. I will try some of these out too ?
Attend church. I’ve been sober 16 years, 9 years ago I started going to church, I craved booze and cigarettes for a long time. I was in church about a year and one day I realized that the urge was gone. It still does not bother me.