Jun 5, 2013 | By Tim Stoddart
You Don’t Need God to get Sober
Spirituality
For obvious reasons, people post about God on this page. That is fine. The people who know me will second the fact, that I respect and appreciate everyone’s beliefs.
Here’s the thing, you don’t need God to be in recovery. 12 step programs are the most God oriented, but people can get sober without the 12 steps. I myself attend 12 step meetings, and through the steps, I have found a Higher Power in the Universe. I simply choose to call it God. This does not mean it is a necessity for everyone. If you are an addict, the only thing you MUST do is stay away from drugs and alcohol.
Whatever Works for You
If you don’t believe in God, then who am I to say you are wrong? There are thousands of cases of people improving their lives without spiritual means. In fact, I have had conversations with people on my page that say they DID stop through their own willpower. I’ve talked to people who realized they had a problem, and just stopped. It is possible, anything is possible.
I feel that open-mindedness goes both ways. If I am to be open minded about issues of the spirit, then I must be open minded to all of them. I believe that finding yourself, discovering who you are and what you love, is just as much a spiritual process and prayer and meditation. It is perfectly okay to believe what you want to believe. For me, a real tragedy occurs when people bow down to a belief system that does align with what they feel in their hearts. If you chose to be Buddhist, or Hindu, or atheist, or Christian or
It is perfectly okay to believe what you want to believe. For me, a real tragedy occurs when people bow down to a belief system that does not align with what they feel in their hearts. If you chose to be Buddhist, or Hindu, or atheist, or Christian or Wickin than have at it. Open-mindedness means accepting other people for their beliefs as well.
Your Beliefs are Your Own and No One Else’s
Don’t let anyone tell you what to believe. Discover for yourself what makes you tick, and what your passions are. While you are busy doing that, don’t use. Your new found freedom from addiction will put you in touch with your true self. You will find your place in the Universe.
When it’s all said and done, religion and love and spirituality are all the same thing. They are all mechanisms that bring us together into a realm of interconnectedness. In the end, that’s what all of this is about. We all look for something or somewhere to belong. So I invite everyone to find something to belong to. Find a meeting, find a gym with workout partners. Find yoga or find a support group. Find a therapist. Find nature, find love. It is irrelevant. What is important is that you find a purpose. This purpose is bigger than you and therefore, is a Higher Power. It can really be that simple.
When I see people speaking in what they believe in, I applaud. When I see people preaching that their way is the best and only way, I cringe. It seems common sense, that defining God, is arrogance at its highest form. I find that acceptance of people for who they are is love in its purest form.
I am forever grateful for the 12 steps and for my conception of a Higher Power. It saved my life, but the Big Book says that we have no Monopoly on recovery. I fear that when some people come into a fellowship, God and peoples forthcoming attitude towards God is a deterrent. When people feel pressured to believe in something they don’t want to, that will turn them off from recovery as a whole. This is when people feel hopeless, and that there is nothing that can get them sober. That person really is in trouble.
What we try to do with Sober Nation is celebrate recovery. We celebrate forward-thinking and happiness and love and tolerance. We celebrate helping each other and selflessness. We celebrate living healthy, happy lives.
However you live your life and find your recovery, is none of my business. Find what makes you happy, find what you’re passionate about and do that. Find a way to stay sober and live your life the way you want to.
The purpose for my writing this article isn’t to create controversy, although I am sure it will. The purpose is to give hope to someone that doesn’t believe in God. Regardless of what you believe, you can get sober. You can change your life. You can find beauty in the world and feel good about your place in it.
Feel free to leave comments, and let us know what worked for you.
Manny Fresh
12 years ago
Intersting topic!! at first I was a lil bit taken back, but as I continued to read I think you explained yourself quite well,, being in recovery myself I did not want to hear about GOD in the beginning but I knew I needed the obsession to be removed and just used the term commonly said in the rooms BELIEVE that WE BEIEVE and ran with it.. Through some time and step work I ve found what works for me, and its not organized, nor religion, Its alot like being an artist not knowing where a project will take me but believing that its going to take me to a place beyond where I am at and in the process allow me to make errors, reflect, move on and know I cant go back.
If you are knew in recovery just BELIEVE that WE BELIEVE!! your conscience will guide you,,and some Good Ordely Direction will find you,, Thats G.O.D.
Matt Boston
11 years ago
Well said! Racing for Recovery and running work for me.
kindra
11 years ago
Great article a lot of very valid points
I myself did not go threw the higher power I was locked up for 9 months. I used for
9 yrs without a care. While I was in jail I lost my brother to a drug over dose two day
Before I was suppose to get out. I knew in my heart inwas done I finally seen
The hearg ache in my parents and families eyes 2 months to the day
Of my brother passing my dad had a heart attack and was sick with
Pnemonia and fell asleep and didnt wake up. That was the perfect time for
The devil to get into my head my dad died a day before my 25 birthday
This year 2013. Drug use did not even take a moment to sit in my brain
Cause I heard my daddy saying to me the day before he passed how
Proud he was of me and he had the happiness back on his heart.
He had his daughter back. I am staying sober and have did it all through family
1 year and 3 months sober. And living to tell a story and help people wirh
Their addictions I known plenty of people who lean on the lord and it helps
Threw my experience I did not lean on him. I believe in the lord full heartidly and i pray and talk to him about my as any christian would but recovery
Is all about urself and what’s ur next step god can’t make that decisio. For you.thank you for letting
Me express my views
kindra
11 years ago
Great article a lot of very valid points
I myself did not go threw the higher power I was locked up for 9 months. I used for
9 yrs without a care. While I was in jail I lost my brother to a drug over dose two day
Before I was suppose to get out. I knew in my heart inwas done I finally seen
The hearg ache in my parents and families eyes 2 months to the day
Of my brother passing my dad had a heart attack and was sick with
Pnemonia and fell asleep and didnt wake up. That was the perfect time for
The devil to get into my head my dad died a day before my 25 birthday
This year 2013. Drug use did not even take a moment to sit in my brain
Cause I heard my daddy saying to me the day before he passed how
Proud he was of me and he had the happiness back on his heart.
He had his daughter back. I am staying sober and have did it all through family
1 year and 3 months sober. And living to tell a story and help people wirh
Their addictions I known plenty of people who lean on the lord and it helps
Threw my experience I did not lean on him. I believe in the lord full heartidly and i pray and talk to him about my as any christian would but recovery
Is all about urself and what’s ur next step god can’t make that decisio. For you.thank you for letting
Me express my views
Anna
11 years ago
Lovely. I also call my higher power the universe.
Forcing someone to find faith in a religion as a condition of sobriety could be incredibly difficult for someone who never had a religion. In some cases of atheism, I can imagine how the pressure could make someone drink.
I agree that open-mindedness is essential. In our tomes it says a higher power is necessary, and for me, it was. My alcoholic ego would not be reduced without the belief I had to form, which is that with the shared humanity on the planet, I could not be the best of the best or the lowest of the low. I’m so grateful for the course of events organized by chaos, the golden thread that tied me to AA. Anyone can believe what they need to.
Anna
11 years ago
Lovely. I also call my higher power the universe.
Forcing someone to find faith in a religion as a condition of sobriety could be incredibly difficult for someone who never had a religion. In some cases of atheism, I can imagine how the pressure could make someone drink.
I agree that open-mindedness is essential. In our tomes it says a higher power is necessary, and for me, it was. My alcoholic ego would not be reduced without the belief I had to form, which is that with the shared humanity on the planet, I could not be the best of the best or the lowest of the low. I’m so grateful for the course of events organized by chaos, the golden thread that tied me to AA. Anyone can believe what they need to.
Gina
11 years ago
Marvelous. Gotta admit, when I saw this title in my newsfeed, my reflex was for my claws to come out. But I absolutely wholeheartedly agree with everything you wrote. Well said. A great reminder that love and tolerance is our code.
Kristina Halsall
11 years ago
I respect your opinion along with the fact that many don’t believe in God. Real quick…used to consider myself a Christian…I believed there was something, God maybe. When I hit below rock bottom, a believer came to me…I’ve been clean 7 years now. Get this…I quit all drugs and alcohol with NO HELP BUT GODS! No 12 step program, nothing…just God, God & God. Now, I don’t shove my beliefs down people’s throat…as a Christian now and a recovering addict saved by Gods mercy & grace it’s my duty to tell my story of what HE did for me. Now, I have my associates degree in human services, I’m as of now attending liberty university to get my BS & masters in psychology with Christian counseling and then my Ph.D in addictions recovery. May God be the glory!!
James Nabozny
9 years ago
yes.yes.yes!
without Jesus I am empty..HEis the only thing that has quenched my thrist..filled that void in my soul.. Soli Deo Gloria!
jaime adams
11 years ago
We all need god. he gives us the strength and wisdom to get through the tough times. My husband and i run an addiction class called harvest helps in aurora mo we give support and advice to our addicts it is based on the bible and i truely believe that if we have god it is a whole lit easier. read gal 6:2 thats what we go by at our meetings. god bless u all. keep up the good work. If we can save just one person from drugs or alchol its worth all the time we put in it my husband n i r both recovering addicts mine is alchole n his is meth (9yrs sober) n alchole im a little over a yr.
Jolene
11 years ago
I really needed to hear this right now. I’ve been sober for four years, and really thinking I need to get back into AA. I want to. I’m not sure how I feel about the God thing, so this has held me back, because I didn’t want to be a hypocrite. Thank you for writing this.
jaime adams
11 years ago
We all need god. he gives us the strength and wisdom to get through the tough times. My husband and i run an addiction class called harvest helps in aurora mo we give support and advice to our addicts it is based on the bible and i truely believe that if we have god it is a whole lit easier. read gal 6:2 thats what we go by at our meetings. god bless u all. keep up the good work. If we can save just one person from drugs or alchol its worth all the time we put in it my husband n i r both recovering addicts mine is alchole n his is meth (9yrs sober) n alchole im a little over a yr. furher more we dont do not pressure anyone to choose a relgion we dont turn anyone away we r there wether they believe in god or not
Brent
11 years ago
I agree with, and appreciate, what you have said. There is no “formula” for getting sober. Many in my family are upset that I do not attend AA or NA meetings. But I have stayed away from narcotics for 3 years now. I make sure all my Doctors know to give me anything but narcotics. When I go to an urgent care clinic, the very first thing I say is, “I’m a drug addict.” I do have a higher power- it is the look I saw on my wife’s face when I woke up after my heart stopping twice during my last overdose. I don’t want to do that to her ever again. Though unconventional, it works for me.
Victoria
9 years ago
This is sooo beautiful.. Thank you…
Nate
11 years ago
I have been addicted to a multitude of drugs and alcohol over the years. Oxycontin, Ritalin, Adderall, Xanax, Marijuana, Klonipin, etc…. and was also a case of beer a day drinker. All this over a span of say 15 years (I am 33). See the thing is, I have gotten sober for long periods of time and tried to enjoy it, but I hated every second of it. I was not a better person sober, wasn’t better off financially, my employment records are the same either way. The main difference I noticed was I am completely depressed with a suicidal ideology sober, while on drugs and alcohol, I don’t feel that way, and I actually enjoy things. I REALLY do! Honestly, can people tell me that I am better off being sober than on drugs and drinking. I don’t steal or hurt others to get my drugs, and the only way it bothers others is the fact that they know I do it,
Peggy Collins
11 years ago
I like the post! The headline is stunning for a Christian who is active in Celebrate Recovery, but the read is compelling and well-written. The 2 things I think are important is (1) when we remove something that occupies the very center of the addict’s mind/heart/life, there must be something big and powerful enough to fill the void left behind. Otherwise, relapse claims our efforts and we fail again. With faith, family, and friends that support us we can fill that gaping hole, forgive ourselves, and find the way to move ahead toward our destiny. And (2) we don’t have to go looking for Him or post an invitation. We need supernatural strength to keep us whole, but God can and will find us when He’s ready…and He knows when we will be ready to open our hearts and minds to something so rich and wonderful. A relationship with God gives us strength to stay on the path and the desire to keep growing in both our sobriety and our journey back to productive, fulfilled lives. I, for one, am grateful we serve a God of grace and second chances. I would be completely lost without His faithful presence in my life! Peace be with you all at this special time of year and may you always keep moving and share that hope with others! Merry Christmas and Happy 2014! #RecoveryLife #Sober #Hope
CHARLES YARNELL
11 years ago
Bravo. I concur totally, What I would say, at least from my point of view is that one thing is a neccesity and that is the “belief in something and the belonging to something” I do not mean in the religous/spiritual sense (although that is fine) I believe that it does not matter “what we believe in as long as we BELIEVE in something. That could be as simple as believing that the current direction of your life is a dead end and needs changing. It could be a belief that someone needs you MORE than you need using/drinking, Or it could be belief in a particular fact of science or religion. I believe that this belief coupled with the inter-connectedness of “BELONGING” to something/someone are foundational towards a long term recovery. I continue to tell those I “work” with that it does not matter what you believe as long as what ever you believe you do so whole-heartedly. Not a right vs wrong this just what works for me.
rose anderson
11 years ago
Well said.Staying away from the drugs and “friends” of the drug worked for me.
Mark A
11 years ago
Very helpful and quite insightful. I am a Buddhist-atheist in recovery (2.5yrs) and this resonates.
Nelly
11 years ago
Perfectly said I work my recovery without using god as my higher power I do believe but am still skeptic in the program they say your not in recovery your just sober from drugs or alcohol unless your doing the steps and if you don’t do them you will not succeed that type of language pushes me away from the aa or na program often I feel people have to find what works for them and what makes them happy everyone works there recovery different however in early recovery I believe it’s extremely important to attend many meetings and gain the knowledge and help from other recovering addicts. Merry Christmas and happy holidays everyone remember one day at a time
Stephen Polando
11 years ago
This is an excellent topic and I thought your opinion was exactly the way I would have wanted to come across from the other side. I am 3 years sober and free from an alcohol addiction and I found hockey to be my passion. I didn’t do a 12 step, I read A Million Little Pieces and listened to Eminems Recovery album. It won’t work for most but it worked for me. My mother is very religious, I am not. I don’t care how anybody goes about trying to get sober, I just hope they do if they need to. And I hope I can help them if they need it.
Sea
11 years ago
I am coming to terms with my addiction. Have hit bottom many times. Today is one of them. I have always felt so hopeless and it seems the only recovery program is the 12 Steps. I don’t believe in god and have never understood all the praying. Find a higher power? I just don’t get it. They say let go and let god. Without that belief system who do I let go to? How do you pray to the universe. How do you hand over fears to the universe. I feel very alone in this. Even the AA book states in their chapter on atheists that if you follow the steps you WILL have a spiritual awakening. How do I find recovery without the whole god thing? Suggestions are truly appreciated.
Natalee
9 years ago
I had the same problem. I generally thin of a “higher power” as the Universe but I just cannot credit the Universe for my recovery. I am not “powerless over alcohol” If anything, I am “powerless with alcohol” It takes exceptional strength to recover from an addiction and no one did it but me. I do think a COMMUNITY is crucial though, and lots of healthy hobbies. I had trashed my body so badly that rebuilding my health seemed to fit perfectly in the void where alcohol was so I became a health coach and dedicated that time to wellness, fitness and paying it forward. Everyone is different, but I know what you mean. Good luck in your recovery!
Jimmy
9 years ago
I am sorry to hear that you are struggling with getting on a consistent path to sobriety. I have 16 great months sober without the use of AA or a model of a higher power. I would suggest looking first into SMART recovery, which gives some structure and support with a focus on the science behind recovery rather than faith-based structure. Then I would suggest checking out SOS Sobriety – just google it. It takes a bit of self-starting, but you can really tailor your recovery to your own personality. AA bills itself as the best, but they have a 5 to 7 percent success rate, and in fact there is strong evidence that suggests it can do more harm than good for people who do not have a faith-based “higher power”. So, don’t fret, just do some research and searching and you will find that you can create a program of recovery that suits you much better. Good luck.
Sue K
9 years ago
I know it’s tough to read the AA big book and try to substitute another idea or word for all the references to God. Have you considered the idea of the group being the Higher Power? It is possible to hand your fears over to the group. It is possible to talk to the group. It’s just a thought. Also, having a spiritual awakening does not necessarily mean you’ll suddenly believe in God. For me, a spiritual awakening was becoming aware that I, too, could stay clean and sober. Good luck and safe journey.
Jami
11 years ago
Thank you so much for these honest thoughts. My husband is an alcoholic who does not believe in God and has decided that because of this non-belief, AA will not work for him. As you stated in your article, my husband is very turned off by the many references to God in 12 step programs. He continues to relapse often and regularly. I became very involved in Alanon to find the strength and self care to get myself and my son away from my husband’s alcoholism and all the anger, pain, and emotional turmoil that goes along with that. I can find serenity in my home now, but it is sad for me to watch my husband continue to fall. I know I cannot find sobriety for him, and I really appreciated your words.
suzanne
11 years ago
Thank You for this article. I am the one that had faith..complete faith in God…and now I do not…..I am closed off to God and will never trust God in any way again. I do believe in God…I just don’t believe HE is what I grew up up believing HE was. I believed in Him like a child believes in Santa Claus or the Easter Bunny..unfornuately when he checked his list I was the only bad kid on it. I cringe at the sound of the word GOD…as it brings deep pain.
DD
10 years ago
Hi everyone!
Wow! Long time since someone commented… I’m really surprised that people aren’t commenting like crazy on this topic. Why you ask am I surprised?
FACTOID
There are a lot of people (maybe gazillions) who struggle w alcohol and drugs that do not believe in god. It’s probably the # 1 reason why people don’t turn to (or commit to) AA for support. Even though this program professes that one doesn’t have to be of the religious persuasion, some old time AAers actually get away with telling newcomers that their sobriety will be dubious at best, if they don’t find god. I’m here to say: It’s bullshit.
However, we do need to understand that not everything in life, is in our control. Don’t like the weather? too bad/so sad 🙁 don’t like the dems, repubs, obahma-care, etc? again… too bad, you’re only 1 vote in a large fishbowl. But YOU? Yes, YOU do have control over YOU.
I think Frank in LA said it best. (not sure if that’s LosAngeles or Louisiana-but it doesn’t matter)
here goes:
“When I was new to AA, the whole thing rather confused me. I don’t know what your experience in the rooms has been like, but you’re probably going to encounter a lot of talk about God and God as we understood Him. That’s because when AA began back in the late 1930’s, it was understood as a kind of facilitated faith healing. Just like the blind being made to see and the lame walking again. You do certain things and God makes a full on miracle happen. That was the basic understanding that Bill Wilson and Bob Smith had (though not everyone agreed, even early on). That very religious theory of how AA works is still there in the Big Book and to a slightly lesser extent in the 12 and 12.
But eventually even Wilson came to accept that some of those actions in the Steps they were taking may be doing a lot on their own. And he (and we) also came to understand that lots of sources of strength and good direction exist apart from God, or even “God as you understood Him.”
Get honest, get real, clean up your mess (if you made one, and most of us did), get involved in the sober community. Those were the things that helped me. Others here stay sober without some or any of that, one day at a time with the support of the sober community.
I wrote an essay for newcomers that’s posted over at AA Agnostica that some people seem to have found useful. You might take look if you’re interested:
http://aaagnostica.org/2012/08/12/an-atheists-guide-to-12-step-recovery/
as for me:
I’ve got 33 yrs without a drink or drug. I’m neither miserable nor am I hanging on by my fingernails. I love my family and my life AND I don’t believe in god.
Cody
9 years ago
I’m not in 12 step, but if it works for you, work it. I’m doing IOP (intensive outpatient therapy)after a brief slip/relapse/use whatever you wanna call it, and losing my job. Been a problem drinker half my life. I don’t believe it’s a disease. Just a thinking disorder. Anyhow…Good luck to the people fighting the good fight. Just keep goin, and learn more about this..THING. You will win in the end. Don’t let IT win. Rational Recovery, and S.M.A.R.T are other paths to recovery. So if you’re struggling don’t get pigeonholed and pressured into thinking 12 steps or another method of recovery is the ONLY way to get sober. Just keep trying. Don’t give up even after a relapse. It’s part of the process.
Best wishes,
Cody
moi
9 years ago
What a fake!!!! – If you want to contact by mail it doesn’t work …
Jason
9 years ago
Thanks Tim for writing this. I understand that with most people, belief in God or not is controversial. For me though, your article resonates.
I particularly like your statement, “Don’t let anyone tell you what to believe.” My conception of God drove me to drink in many ways. I knew that I had to question the ideas of God that I was raised with, and the ideas about God that society drilled into me, such as, “No matter what I do in life, it will never be good enough for God. ”
The 3rd Step says, “Made a decision to turn our (my) will and our (my) life over to the care of God as we (I) understood him.” For me, I had to change my conception of God in order to stay sober. For those lucky and fortunate enough to be raised with a view of God that coincides with who said people are as people, changing the conception of God that I was raised in for the first eighteen years of life took tremendous courage for me to do…and I am still doing it today. Contrary to the notion of God that I was raised in, I must believe that God loves me…otherwise, I am not going to stay sober. I need to believe that for myself…because I have been told for years that God does not love me, and that no matter what I do in life it will never be good enough for God.
This New Year’s Eve will be exactly sixteen months sober…and it has been tons of hard work especially the first two to three months. Fortunately, it has gotten easier for me to say no to alcohol the longer I stay sober…and I am so grateful for being sober today.
Daniel S
6 years ago
Become sober-minded as you ought, and stop sinning; for some have no knowledge of God. I speak this to your shame. 1 Corinthians 15:34….I’ll consider my God the Creator of the Haven’s and the Earth and the Creator of me too! He Speaks to me through the Word of the Holy Bible Revealing Great Thing’s Worthy of Praise ! He gives Hope and renews the Strength of those who trust in Him.
Mike
6 years ago
Someone suggested when I first went to AA to use the group as your higher power if God was an issue. A room full of sober people is a pretty powerful thing to someone thats been drinking for a few decades.
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