Jan 28, 2016 | By Tim Powers

Understanding Dry Drunk Syndrome and How It Will Undermine Your Recovery

Recovery Relapse Prevention

Sober of Dry

If you could sum up active addiction in one word, what would it be? When you take a cold hard look deep within yourself and were able to find deepest and widest line that connects all of your actions, thoughts, behaviors, and feelings one word comes to mind–negativity.

Throughout your drug and alcohol addiction, negativity hung over  you like a big, thick black cloud that obscured the reality of your situation. Nothing was right and every bad situation or event in your life was someone else’s fault and not your own. You finally flipped on the switch to your conscience and accepted the fact that you couldn’t hide any longer from the long reach of substance abuse.

You address those issues by making the commitment to drug treatment, and while you were able to put the proverbial plug in the jug, things aren’t quite right. You are looking and feeling great, and you should be savoring the small victories of your hard fought sobriety — yet that dark cloud that hung over your head is still following you.

You spend your stays stewing with lingering anger, and maybe you are holding resentments in your recovery. The negativity that should be diminishing is staying steady and even growing stronger. If you are trying to put a finger on the pulse of what you are experiencing, what you are going through in your recovery is what is commonly known as dry drunk syndrome.

Defining Dry Drunk Syndrome

To put this phenomenon in simple terms, dry drunk syndrome occurs when people give up using drugs and alcohol but they still wrestle with the psychological aspects of their addiction. We can think of the dry drunk phenomenon as a recovery purgatory in the fact that while a person has stopped drinking or drugging (which is a good thing) they haven’t dealt with the underlying baggage that gave birth to their addiction (which is a bad thing).

Being a dry drunk can stem from a number of sources. On one hand, those who are experience a dry drunk usually do so because they felt they could get sober on their own and didn’t receive therapy, counseling or any other treatment service. Basically, the only difference between them and someone who is still active in addiction is the absence of a substance.

Another way in which the dry drunk phenomenon occurs is if somebody had successfully completed a drug and alcohol treatment program, but have regressed in their recovery. This may include little or no participation in 12-Step groups, or having little or no active contact or work with their sponsor. As a result, they eventually reassume the mentality of an addict and start isolating themselves from those in their support system and exhibit a general unease in their daily lives.

How Does Someone In Recovery Develop Dry Drunk Syndrome?

A possible origin of the dry drunk phenomenon can be traced to the medical detoxification process. No matter what substance is abused, there are physical and psychological withdrawal symptoms that can be extremely uncomfortable and painful to endure. While drug and alcohol detox services help minimize the discomfort associated with the withdrawal process, those who experience withdrawal undergo wide swings in emotions, behaviors and actions.

These wide swings can make those new in recovery act out in unpredictable and sometimes volatile ways. If this is not addressed during the drug treatment, the newly recovering addict will grow to focus on the negatives of addiction. This attitude can have great impact on family, friends and others who want to provide much needed support to the addict. It is the addict’s inability to process and understand the vast changes that detoxification and treatment bring that allows the dry drunk mentality to grow.

What Do I Need to Look For?

Like many things that can sabotage your recovery, the dry drunk mentality develops slowly over time. At first, the attitudes and behaviors that define this type of mindset are not on the radar. However, if left unchecked and not addressed, they can dominate a person’s actions and can cause them to backslide towards a relapse. If you are noticing that you are starting to get sour in your recovery, there are several things that you need to be on the lookout for in regards to attitudes and emotions.

One tell-tale sign that you may be experiencing dry drunk syndrome is that you adopt a self-centered and superior attitude. It is known in 12-Step circles as terminal uniqueness, and with this mindset you place yourself in the center of the universe and you may feel that no one understands what you are going through because you are special.

Another sign of a dry drunk mentality is that you have poor impulse control. You become impatient with your recovery and you feel that you can do what you want when you want to despite the consequences your behavior may bring. When a lack of self-control combines with a self-centered attitude as described in the previous paragraph, it will bring out that shadowy and addictive side that you had worked hard to address and overcome.

Additionally, dry drunk syndrome may occur due to complacency. Oftentimes in the recovery process, it can be forgotten that progress is often measured in baby steps. If you are feeling that you are hitting a plateau in your recovery journey, you may start losing your motivation to continue working your plan of recovery. You may start missing meetings and you may stop working with your sponsor. The thought that you “have things figured out” or that “recovery is done” can lure you back into self-centeredness and make you ripe for a relapse.

You also may start taking on a judgemental attitude towards ourselves and others. Once you start judging others or yourself in terms of being greater than or less than, you are creating a situation where you are manipulating how you feel on the in similar ways as substances function. This can create a situation where you start isolating yourself from your support network, and isolation leads to regression in your recovery and possibly to the point of relapse.

What Can I Do?

The feelings and behaviors associated with dry drunk syndrome can be extremely frustrating to deal with, and the best way to get yourself out of that rut is to re-commit to being active in your recovery. You need to start increasing the number of meetings you attend, and you also need to start re-connecting with your sponsor and your peers in recovery. It is also highly advisable that you lean on the trusted people in your support system and have the courage to speak about how you are feeling to those who support you. These actions will reignite your passion for your recovery and get you back on track.

14 responses to “Understanding Dry Drunk Syndrome and How It Will Undermine Your Recovery

  • Love the article, thank you! I always seem to read something right when I need it.

    I am a writer and a recovering alcoholic. I would love to write some articles about my experiences and hopefully help others.. Does your website welcome article submissions?

    Thanks!

  • Great article. I think there is HUGE difference between dry and sober….and for me personally, being just “dry”, made me completely miserable!

    • john kaminski

      8 years ago

      A dry drunk is complacency at its best, usually they have lost touch with the relationship with their higher power, usually they regress back to “I think I could do it myself” syndrome and they inherently fail! Due to losing touch with with the principles of a group setting such as ‘Alcoholics Anonymous; although they’re not drinking their defects are prevalent and acted out on a daily basis! usually hurting close family their children and friends, my opinion for a dry drunk is to get into a meeting to prove to himself that he he is indeed accepted no matter what! and to continue to go to meetings and incorporate that in his daily regiment. I feel all humans need a routine it gives us purpose. finding a sponsor is Paramount for a dry drunk for he needs Direction and the motivational drive to get back on track….????

  • This was a good read. Picking up on the inner turmoil. You will always know you can get addicted to many orher elements in your life. And the urge can be overwhelming, fighting the mindset that led you to addiction in the first place..

  • I was never a big drinker as my kids got older I didnt see the harm. I watched my sister die do to liver disease and they day after she passed my brother came over at 10am and said lets have a beer for her and with that drink I knew I was in trouble. I drank for many more years,trying to quit a few times throughout without success. Even falling asleep at the wheel and rearending someone. By the grace of God nobody was hurt. The officer called my husband and told him
    him to pick me up and drive me home. It wasnt enough though and I still drank. My point of finally quitting was being put in ICU because my sugar went to 918 but I didnt quit because of that. I was just so tired of being a drunk and wanted my life back.
    I cant tell you why unless I was just ready but for the most part it has been easier than I tried before. Sometimes I think just one drink sounds good but then I say to myself…..yeah dumbass,how did that work out for you before….. and I move on.
    I love deep down in my heart when people make it. Knowing people will love themselves again and discover a new person in themselves
    .

  • I appreciate this article for what it is but I feel the perjorative term is used in a way amongst the sober community to judge one another’s sobriety when the focus should be kept on oneself. After the initial , generally, pink cloud stages of early sobriety, life starts to become more real again and yes, participating in a program, seeing a therapist or finding some other means to cope with the more psychoemotional parts of our addictive personalities is very important. As someone who is in a stage of less meetings and no therapy, I don’t label myself “dry”. And when I hear people use it to talk about others, I generally have a lesser opinion of that person since I find them to be finding some level of self satisfactory superiority. I’ve known people who got sober alone and are of course struggling with life in some way but are not “dry” to people who work diligently on steps and service and yoga and therapy and the list goes on who are not my cup of tea to be around. My whole point is that I wish this term would be eradicated as it is so black and white and there are too many nuances within the journey of sobriety to be stamping the label on someone who is probably trying their best.

  • Hi my name is Marty and I’m an alcoholic with 16 years in the 12 step programs . Until about 4 years ago my life was as good as it could be. I had a job, an apartment by a lake, a great dog as a companion, minimum 2 meetings a week … all was peachy …. then both my kneed gave out, I needed surgery, went on disability, and found the internet . I knew of it but not a lot …I was at that point an amateur photographer and started posting photos to Flickr and other sites …and through that I met a lady friend from Australia, we shared our works, and then our words, we grew to be very friendly but very far, as I was in Canada, we ended up having strong feeling towards one another. Long story short, she came to visit, we fell in love. I followed her back to Australia a few weeks later, and we started to prepare our wedding. I was living the dream, I was riding the pinkest cloud you ever saw, I was in heaven … found a small AA group in our suburb, we opened a photo studio and both became professional photographers…and then I STOPPED !!! I stopped doing my meetings,my readings, my program …I became a dry drunk …BIG TIME … I started bottling feelings and emotions inside, my darling had a MS attack that scared the crap out of me, but I showed my strength and not my fears, resulting with me getting shingles by that. It should have been a tiny sign that I was going down rapidly … but as a good alcoholic that I am, I went to my head and persuaded myself that all was good. My old behaviors and defects of character came gushing out. words that had not been said by me since my using days were out, my pent up rage and anger all came out and I couldn’t stop it. And when I did, it was but re-bottling them all again… she put up with it once to often , and because of my insanity and still not seeking help, she asked me to leave. I’ve gone back for help, I speak and listen to the right people, I’ve begged for forgiveness . But she will have no part of it. She is scared and I don’t blame her … So now I’m fighting to get my life back in order one day at a time, re forming a program for myself, with a tiny hope of getting us back together one day. So that she can have the man she had met not that long ago. It has helped by writing this, I hope it can help another. It’s not the amount of years that you have in my friends it’s how you use them … God Bless

    Marty L.

  • I also dislike the term dry drunk. Until a better term enters the vernacular though, I suggest try not to take offense. People haven’t much choice but to use this term until something better comes along

    Would be great to have an article on how best to support those who are exhibiting these behaviors.

    • You make a very strong point there Ann … I’m fortunate to be bilingual French/English and in French we call ” Ivresse Mentale” which to me makes a lot more sense….as it is a mental problem that leads to depression and stressed out brain … thanks for your reply…

  • One of the big features of ‘dry drunk syndrome’ is that the person will generally become quite aggressive and angry if one tries to help them. I believe that it is important to try to help them but take the time think about what they have said and what you might say to them as a response. My way with that is to tell them that you listened to their share, or that you heard what they were saying in the coffee place or wherever you heard it (except from somebody else) and then say, I wondered if you have thought about trying this (whatever you have worked out to suggest)
    You might also ask them if they would like to meet up for a coffee somewhere. Gentle approach has worked best in my experience. What has been your experience?

  • One of my problems with “dry drunk” is that it has become a stigmatizing” accusation” by some in 12-step for those who simply choose not to work every aspect of the steps and but are doing fine in recovery regardless. Even those in recovery go through challenges and may handle them in ways other than 12-step and doing fine. It does not mean they are a “dry drunk”

  • Any suggestions as to how to live with someone who no longer drinks but acts as narcissistic always bragging on themselves and being very judgemental towards their spouse. Nothing I’ve tried has worked and I dearly love this person with all my heart. I grew up with an alcoholic mother and I’m reliving my childhood all over, except now I’m 60 and just go married to an angry person who is impossible to please!!!

  • Husband recently detoxed amd now appears to be hitting dry drunk in the rehab, I feel like a human punching bag with drunk behaviors now coming in letter form through the mail. I am his only support, just really discouraged. Not from a stand point of taking it personal but I had filed for divorce, was thinking if he did rehab this would help out situation, however, his tude is pissing me off.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

24/7 Rehab Help (866) 207-7436 Sponsored | Who Answers

Contact Sober Nation's Sponsored Hotline

If you are seeking drug and alcohol related addiction rehab for yourself or a loved one, the SoberNation.com hotline is a confidential and convenient solution.

Calls to any general hotline (non-facility) will be answered by Treatment Addiction Solutions

Alternatives to finding addiction treatment or learning about substance:

If you wish to contact a specific rehab facility then find a specific rehab facility using our treatment locator page or visit SAMHSA.gov.

To learn more about how Sober Nation operates, please contact us