What it was like?
I went through a lot of traumatic events in rapid succession, and didn’t know how to cope. I quickly fell in love with drugs. I hated myself, my life, and the world. It was a miserable existence. I only cared about getting high and avoiding reality. I couldn’t hold a job, I was chronically homeless, in and out of jail, and often prayed I would die. I truly believed the world would be better off without me.
What happened?
I didn’t get “better†over night. It was a lot of hard work, trial and error, and a bit of luck too. I think my turning point was when I accidentally mixed drugs and overdosed on my daughter’s birthday. I didn’t quit that day, but that’s when I started making changes and setting goals; that’s when I started reaching out and asking for help from the sober community. Most importantly, I never gave up.
What it is like now?
My life now is great. It’s far from perfect, but it is so much better than it’s ever been. I’ve earned a Bachelors Degree in Sociology, and am currently working toward a Masters in Social Work. I work in recidivism reduction, helping other people find and utilize the tools they need to be successful. I have rebuilt trust with my children, and have great relationships with all of them. I am married to an amazing man who is also In Recovery, and we have a little dog that is our world. I live in a nice house, drive a nice car, and am proud to say that I’ve had the same phone and phone number for years (if you know, you know). I live my recovery every day, because I value it, and don’t ever want to go back to how it was.
It didn’t happen over night, and it’s not always been easy, but it’s been worth it.