Kelly

Active addiction, well, by far the worst pain you can endure. 12 years of it. For me, it started out as being close with doctors and the big pharma. I have Crohns so it started with a little norco and roxicet and some Xanax for anxiety of course. I finished nursing school, was about to marry my high school sweetheart who was a doctor, I had a great house and cars, great job and friends, a family who trusted me. I never considered myself an “addict” ( obviously I was in denial)

Well, before you knew it doctors started cutting me off all meds. I thought I’d be fine. Wow, was I wrong! I became everything I ever hated , sooo rapidly too. My relationship failed, I had no where to live , my car got re possessed, I lost my nursing license , my family and friends didn’t trust me at all ( let’s face it, I was lying and stealing from everyone at this point) I got fired from my job.. I had law troubles.. it was like a switch flipped and I don’t even remember. As soon as I didn’t have that high anymore I found a few drug dealers , I went to the shadiest places, spent 400 dollars a day, my health was declining so fast I didn’t even know. I didn’t care, I hated myself and I couldn’t stop... then one day, it happened to ME... I overdosed... by the grace of god my ( new) fiancé found me, gave cpr, I got narcaned 7-8 times , they never thought I’d make it... but I did, the little fight I had left in me. I woke up, terrified, couldn’t hear or breathe without help.. after spending a few days in icu I recovered, and that for me was my breaking point and since then I have not touched a drug.

Of course this all didn’t come easy, and still doesn’t, everyday is work, a lot of it. But because of that situation I am where I am today. I’m getting married in 2 months to literally the most wonderful human being ( and I mean it! Lol) we have a HOME, nice cars, LOVE, people trust me again, I have my nursing license back and I get to work front line of covid -19 everyday where patients genuinely trust and feel comfortable with me. Besides the materialistic things , the new daily peace I have is amazing , I don’t wake up sick, I don’t think about my next fix and who or how I’m going to get it. I can live open and honest everyday. And I can go to sleep knowing I’m not hurting my loved ones. It’s a crazy journey and it’s ALL worth it. Most of all, I love that people can look at me and hopefully find hope in themselves. I learned this is a second, minute, hour or day process - just for today I can’t , but WE can :)