These People Don't Respect my Sobriety

I came across the story on the STOP DRINKING section in Reddit. I really this we could share our advice on this matter. ...to other people. I have previously posted here about having a difficult time with my professional circle after I quit drinking (e.g., at a work event that involved drinking, my boss made a huge and inappropriate deal about my not drinking that was drew a lot of attention). You all gave fantastic advice and shared stories. I have taken the advice to heart, though continue to struggle. The purpose of tonight's post is more to vent, and maybe hear some similar stories, though please feel free to give me some advice if you have it. Basically...this weekend has been a fucking nightmare. I'm at a professional conference 3000 miles from home with several co-workers, including my boss, his colleague, and two fellow grad students (both of whom with which I'm sharing a hotel room). Travel plans went askew due to the weather, and we wound up having to spend a whole day in the airport and still wound up at the conference 38 hours late. That alone is a HUGE drinking trigger for me - I always used to get wasted before flying, and we were delayed and stuck all day. But I stuck through it sober, though the student I was traveling with kept harassing me to drink ("LadyJ, if ever there was a day to fall off the wagon, this is it."). I feel incredibly proud of myself for not drinking. As a side note, I am very sleep deprived. I apologize if this post is hard to follow. Last night, myself, the two graduate students (let's say Lisa and Brittney), and my boss's colleague (let's say Harry) went out for a late dinner. Of course, the only place open we could find was a bar/restaurant. I am not joking when I say that my not drinking was a topic of conversation for at least 45 minutes. Harry himself got drunk, and kept bugging me to tell him why I quit drinking. He asked me, repeatedly, if there had been some catalyst, if there was a reason, etc. Brittney, also drunk, piped in that I am sober because I'm "just doing it to do it, there is no reason." I tried to assertively tell them "I made the choice not to drink anymore, and I don't want to get into this. Can we talk about something else?" several times. They would stop for a few minutes, then start up again whenever the topic of alcohol came up (such as when the waitress came around for refills). At this point, I was seriously angry and want to leave, but it was 2am in an unfamiliar city. So I just kind of shut down and stopped talking, which then prompted Brittney to let me know how much more fun I was when I drank and that she "couldn't wait until I fell of the wagon." We eventually walked back to the hotel at around 2:30 am, where I got the pleasure of sharing a room with drunk Lisa and drunk Brittney and we had to wake up at 6am. They were drunk and carrying on, like drunk people do, for about an hour and then went to sleep. I figured that would be it this weekend in terms of dealing with stuff like that. Today, at the conference, I was presenting an evening poster and my boss came up to me with a glass of wine from the cash bar and asked me "Did you relapse yet?" I said no, and he said "OK, I just wanted to make sure." In a way, he was being nice because he was trying to not leave me out (he had also bought a glass of wine for another grad student). And, he was trying to keep it light I suppose, but seriously? "Did you relapse yet?" It was stunningly invalidating, and made me realize that no one is taking me seriously. Another dinner tonight, this time with all of the aforementioned people and two others (both of whom were quite fine with my not drinking). At this dinner, I overheard Harry whispering my name to Lisa after I ordered a pot of hot tea while everyone else ordered cocktails. OK, fine, I thought - they can be immature, that's fine. Brittney put her martini under my nose and said "smells so goooood, right?" Those were the only events at dinner. After dinner, my boss, Brittney, Lisa, and Harry decided to finish two bottles of wine in the hotel. They invited me and I politely declined, then someone said "Please!" and I got irritated and said "No!" in what was probably a pretty rude voice, so I tried to finish up with "I'm too tired, everyone have a great night!" Blah blah. So now I'm here in my room, alone for the first time in days and writing this post waiting for my two drunk hotel roommates to get back. Here's the thing. These people aren't malicious, but they just straight up do not take me seriously or respect my sobriety. It's weird, because I truly believe that they professionally respect me, but refuse to respect my not drinking. Maybe it's my own fault - I'm usually a very funny/fun person who is sarcastic, and I don't really "get serious" with these people too much. I've avoided getting visibly upset during these conversations because I don't want them to view me as some angry bitter person. It's sad honestly. More than sad though, it's fucking wearing me down. I somehow constantly feel guilty and like I'm sucking the fun away by not drinking with them. I feel guilty that I can't give Harry a good enough answer as to why I've quit drinking to appease him. I almost wish that there had been a catalyst, like getting a DUI, so everyone would get off my back about it. I don't understand why they are spending so much mental energy thinking about/talking about my not drinking. Part of what upsets me is I know that they're all talking to each other about me. I want to somehow convey to these people 1) that I'm serious; 2) that they need to stop talking about it, and 3) if they have a problem with me not drinking, then I don't want them in my life. BUT, I can't, because they're my co-workers as well as friends, and I can't just not have them in my life. Especially my boss. I can't just sit him down and scold him. I don't want these people to feel bad or like they're victimizing me. Well I guess that's all. Fingers crossed that my flights back tomorrow go fine and I don't have to spend any extra time delayed with these people. Thanks for reading, and know that I greatly appreciate having this community to vent to :)