Name: Sarah Merkel
Sober Since: 01 / 29 / 2008
Sober For: 11 Years & 234 Days
What it was like?
I was a great drunk. I went to work, raised my kids, fed the pets, etc. You get the picture. But I was sick every morning and really messed my kids lives up. Not cool watching your Mom fall into a cat box cause she cant stand up. My marriage was failing and my daughter ended up in prison because she became addicted to oxy and robbed a bank. My poor son just followed around behind me cleaning things up.
My daughter was scheduled to be released from prison and they wouldn't let her come home to me because I was a drunk. My ex husband would tell me I drank too much for too long to get sober. I was up to 9 beers a night. Every night. Sometimes more. But I knew I had to get sober so my daughter could come home. I went to my doctor and set a date. January 29, 2008. I took a month off from work and got my meds and settled in. The first day was awful! I was shaking so bad I thought I was dying! I was vomiting and sweaty and so, so sick! I started counting one minute at a time. Then 5 minutes at a time. Then 15. 30. 45. 60. Every one of them consumed with thoughts of dying from withdrawal. But I didn't. And by the third day I showered. Still counting minutes. By the end of week one I knew I never wanted to be that sick again. Ever.
What it is like now?
I am so thankful now I went through withdrawal the way I did. Its not for everyone, but I needed to know just how bad it was so I never would go back. If it was medically easy FOR ME I would just do it again. Tomorrow I am 10 years sober. And for the record I still count minutes sometimes. But my life is amazing. I lost a few friends. Gained a few friends. But most important my daughter came home and has never gone back. She is married and I have an amazing granddaughter who never saw me drunk. My son is one of my best friends and my strongest ally. Life, my friends, is good.