What it was like?

My husband passed away from lung cancer the month before I got sober. Right after his death, I was trying to do everything I could in my disease to join him. I had no hope and no will to continue living in the hell that was my life. I didn't believe that I could go a day without a drink. And I couldn't imagine continuing through my days with alcohol. I was completely defeated and had no desire to continue on that way. I only saw one way out. Death.

What happened?

My Higher Power decided to intervene and gave me just enough clarity to remember how much my husband had loved me and valued me...even in the darkest and ugliest hours of my disease. And since any self-worth that I'd had in myself had died years ago, remembering his view of me was enough to get me back...crawling...into the rooms of AA.

What it is like now?

It's been almost six years now, and I can truly say that my life is better than I could have ever dreamed possible. I have a good relationship with all my adult children, I see my grandbabies on a regular basis, I crochet baby blankets for sick babies, I have a job doing what I love (fully self-supporting through my own contributions-ha-ha), and I'm going to the Caribbean in 9 days for my 55th birthday present to myself. None of this would be possible if not for my husband, my HP, and my friends in AA. I'm a grateful, recovering alcoholic.