Meranda

Addiction is confusing, inconsistent and inconvenient, just as much so to addicts as to family and friends. In my active addiction it was as if I didn't care about anyone but myself when I knew that was the complete opposite! But I'd do anything for that next high!

I used my childhood as the biggest "reason".. I had a terrible upcoming so I tried any and every drug to try and get answers as to why this and that happend.. unfortunately it didn't work and made everything worse! Today I'm seriously thankful for life! I'm not sure how I managed to live, but I did it! There was many times on my rampage that I wasn't sure if I was going to make it! 5 years ago today, I had to have my mom and step dad drive to salt lake city Utah, from Nebraska, and get me off the streets there. I started to try and get home from Eugene Oregon and ended up failing and managing myself up in salt lake because I was on so many drugs, coming down, withdrawing that I had a very hard time trying to get home on my own.. they took me home and made me withdraw and come down by isolation because when I tried treatment before I failed.... I relapsed a few times in the first year because of the crowd I managed to find, but now by the grace of God I have 4 years sober from every drug you can think of! It's not an easy battle especially the mental part, but today I have many things I never had while using.. I have a lot of love for myself, a daughter, a husband, a house, a car, a job, and I'm in the midst of starting my own business! Today words can't touch my gratitude for sobriety!

It's now everything I dreamed of and more! I couldn't picture my life any different now!