What it was like?

I started experimenting in high school, but from the beginning it felt different. My friends were just having fun but I needed to get high. Most of my using years I was using pills but by the time I graduated to heroin, I had lost absolutely everything. I was wandering the streets and living in motels and all I had to my name was a garbage bag with all of my belongings in it. I was doing anything and everything I could for my next fix. I didn’t care anymore. I thought I was going to die out there. And I was okay with it.

What happened?

I got into a relationship with a man who wasn’t an addict, but I continued to use. One day I got down on my knees and prayed like I’ve never prayed before. I said “God, please let me get out of this addiction. And if you can’t help me....then just take me.” A few months later I found out I was pregnant. I was terrified. At first, I wasn’t so sure I was ready to give it up but when I heard the heartbeat for the first time, I knew it was time. I was ready to do anything I had to for that little life. Then and there, I promised myself that my child was NEVER going to see me high.

What it is like now?

I stuck to my word. My daughter just turned 3 and I have been clean for more than 3 years. I’m a good mom. I’m a good fiancé, daughter, sister and friend. I love my life and everyone in it. I never thought that I could enjoy life sober but after the fog cleared, I realized there is so much more to life than a high. I’m so thankful to be free today.