What it was like?

I was living a double life. Ellen the welcoming, put together professional and Ellen the violent, angry, black out drinker. I put on a show for everyone, but deep inside, I loathed myself for hiding.

What happened?

I reached many bottoms, but mostly I was just tired. I knew I needed a change. I dreamt of having a family my entire life, but when it came to it, I was still drinking even during fertility treatments. I needed to quit in order to save myself, but also get the family I always dreamed of.

What it is like now?

I am a sober mom of twins! Life still is hard, but being sober gives me a whole new lifestyle that makes everything more meaningful. Most importantly, I am happy with who I am. I don't have to lie anymore.