Sober Since: /1 / / 11/1
Sober For: 10 Years & 82 Days
What it was like?
I was a miserable mess. Drinking every other day. Every other day because I needed a day to recover from fatigue, depression, vomiting, panic attacks. I could never ever stop at 1 or 2. Always had to finish the bottle and sometimes more. I began drinking alone because I needed the "buzz" and I also needed to self-medicate. Unfortunately. I would find any excuse.
I attempted suicide in 2011, one day before my oldest daughter's birthday. I sat and stared at the photo's for quite some time before I took many, many pills. I made a decision just before my youngest daughter's baby shower to quit (again). I promised myself first and I promised my unborn granddaughter that I would never drink again.
What it is like now?
What it's like now? That's a big question! I am sober! I have not had one sip of alcohol since November of 2011. I can't say it's been easy, because I'm still struggling. Not every day but more often than I'd like. I have a super support system to help me along. I also quit smoking cigarettes the same day I stopped drinking. Cold turkey! Every single morning I wake up sober I think to myself how awful I felt after binge drinking over and over again. And how nasty, sad and guilty I felt. My granddaughter is now almost four and I have a new grandson. I'm proud to call myself sober...