What it was like?

One long, self-absorbed pity party where nothing was my fault and everyone was out to get me. The "feeling" I remember the most is complete disconnect from the world around me. I didn't feel like a real person.

What happened?

I remember waking up one day and just feeling like I had enough. I don't know what it was exactly... I was just done being miserable. No matter how I tried to twist my perception, my way just wasn't working anymore.

What it is like now?

Difficult! And testing the boundaries of my sanity and patience every second of the day. But I'm so happy to feel stressed, angry, worried, happy, etc. because for years I couldn't feel much of anything. Sobriety is worth every annoying and challenging day because I have actual choices in front of me now that my addiction isn't ruining anymore. You know, unless I let it. Which working the steps, going to meetings, and holding myself accountable makes easier to battle.