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Sober Nation

Putting Recovery On The Map

Name: Billy

Age: 36

Sober Since: 01 / 28 / 2018

Sober For: 2 Years & 235 Days

What it was like?

I drank because I was depressed and I was depressed because I drank. This led down a dark path of questioning life and reasons for living. I have a wonderful wife and two kids and people would say, "how could you drink like that and have such dark thoughts like that knowing you have a family that needs you and friends that care about you?" Those people don't understand the illness. They didn't understand the altered train of thought that was magnified with alcohol. I was a fully functioning alcoholic though, able to drink as much as I wanted without a drop in production at work. I did become more distant from my family and it was because of shame. I was ashamed of how much I drank and then the person I became when I drank. I didn't like this person but I would drink more so I could forget about it. It was a dangerous cycle I was caught in.

What happened?

The two weeks surrounding Christmas in 2017, my drinking really ramped up. I was drinking a half gallon of bourbon every 2 to 2 1/2 days for nearly 2 weeks straight. By the time my birthday rolled around in January, my birthday party actually, I drank so much that I blacked out and flew into a violent rage. I was arrested and the very next day admitted for inpatient treatment for alcholism and suicidal ideations.

What it is like now?

I will hit two years without a drop next month. It has been hard because of the relationships that have changed due to my sobriety. While some have fizzled out, the most important ones have only strengthened. I am more in-tune with my family and job than I have ever been. I am so much healthier and happier than I was before. I still have times where I miss drinking but I tell my wife when the cravings kick in so there is accountability. I owe my sobriety and increased quality of life to some very special friends and family that have helped and supported me every step of the way. I'll never go back.

Reboot Your Recovery

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