What it was like?

I was drinking everyday and smoking weed to not feel. I was physically and emotionally unavailable to everyone in my life. I was unemployed and unemployable. Suicidal. And too cowardly to do anything but drink and smoke my life away.

What happened?

My love said this isn’t working for you and it certainly is t working for me. I think you need to make a call. That was his way of saying call someone in program. I had been on a relapse and it was time to get serious about recovery. Time to live life on life’s terms.

What it is like now?

After promising myself and my loved ones that I would do everything that was suggested to me by the outpatient program and AA as well as my psychiatrist and other doctors I gave my recovery all of me. I was willing. Because of that I now lead a peaceful and serene life and fly under the radar on all parts of my life. What I mean by that is there are less highs and lows. No drama. Just normalcy and that is the way I like it. That isn’t to say I don’t have bumps in the road but when I do I handle them with the grace of a woman in recovery with a program thanks to the fellowship of AA, especially my sponsor.