Feb 13, 2016 | By Tim Powers
15 Signs That You Are A Sober Person
Recovery Relapse Prevention
When you first enter the wide, wonderful and oftentimes unpredictable world of recovery, there is a definite sense of struggle. Leaving behind the old and destructive ways of addiction and adapting newer and healthier ways of thinking, feeling and acting takes a lot of active practice as well as continual trial and error.
When you take your first baby steps in sobriety, you can feel like you have two left feet and it can feel like you are stumbling around more than actually moving forwards. After awhile the recovery mindset starts to become second nature, and as time progresses we may notice during those random quiet times in our daily routines there are things that you do or say in your recovery that you didn’t do when you were active in our substance abuse.
Listed below are 15 signs that you are a sober person.
You Handle Day-to-Day Situations Differently
Let’s get down to the nitty gritty, life isn’t perfect. In your never-ending recovery journey, you will encounter obstacles and challenges in your everyday life that test the limits of your patience. One of the signs that you a sober person is that you are able to slow down and take what is given to you at face value. As a result, you take what you need and leave the rest.
You Learn to Learn
Let’s also face it… life is short–too short. While recovery is something you take seriously, taking yourself seriously 24-7 can actually undermine your recovery in the long run. You will make mistakes and fall short at times. As a sober person, you can take the time to look back at what you accomplished thus far in recovery and the obstacles you’ve overcome, and realize that with each obstacle that is overcome you grow stronger and more confident that you can overcome the next obstacle that crosses your path.
Focusing on the Positive
Those who assume the role of Negative Nancy are classic examples of folks who display a victim mentality where they assume no responsibility for their standing in life. Guess what? YOU DO! Another one of the signs that you are a sober person is that you get the fact that life happens and while sucky things occur, there are also a lot of upsides of living a sober life.
You Got People
One of the most important signs that you are a sober person is that you have a network of friends, family and peers in recovery you have your back and will extend a hand, shoulder to lean on or an ear to bend when the going gets rough in your recovery. As a sober person sometimes you have to step back and realize the wonderful resources you have at your disposal. Many people, many stories, much wisdom and you drink tons of coffee (more on that later).
You Can Check Yourself
As a sober person the virtue of patience can be one of the most challenging things to cultivate. Sobriety at times can render you like a walking nerve—everything and anything can irritate or aggravate you. However, you have learned an important lesson in your recovery journey and that lesson is simple: let go. You know that you have embrace your life as a person in recovery when you can fully understand the present moment and ultimately realize that how you handle the situation right now will determine how your future can play out.
Coffee!
In sobriety, it seems as though coffee is currency. The smell permeates the meeting room and is the beverage of choice in social gathering where sober folks are present. Even if you don’t fancy yourself a coffee drinker you may find yourself drinking quite a bit. (writer’s note…I like mine strong with four sugar cubes.)
You Experience Happiness
Yeah, life can be difficult at times and provide a real kick in the pants but comparing it to where you came from all things are relative. Sober folks are generally a happy lot because they are living and breathing and living life on life’s terms day by day. Knowing that you hold the key to make things happen in your life is another sign that you are a sober person. Now…get things done!
You Have Principles
Sober people have cultivated some form of spiritual undercurrent that guides their lives. It’s doesn’t have to be God proper, but those who are sober realize there is a power greater than themselves. Because of that, those who are sober realize they are just a spoke in the wheel. You can try, but your arms are too short to box with God (I have tried, I know…)
You Wear Your Recovery Proudly
Whether it is through ink or the clothes you wear, sober folks like to express their appreciation for their recovery. Some folks may look at it as being kind of preachy and pushy, but the bottom line is that you are loud and proud in your recovery. Besides, wearing a sandwich board would be hot and uncomfortable.
Ommmm…
As a recovering person, you are more than likely finding some time during the daily grind to find a quiet spot, sit comfortably, closing your eyes and just focusing on your breath. Mindful meditation is a relapse prevention staple, and the techniques are easy to master. Meditation does fancy robes or require insane flexibility. To meditate simply means finding a quiet spot and be one with your thoughts and reflect on the day.
You Make Plans
You know that you are a sober person when you can easily fill your daily schedule with recovery-based activities that are fun and help strengthen your recovery game. Whether it is meetings, hobbies or other activities, you don’t have time to dwell on the pity pot and you surely don’t have the energy to dwell on stinkin’ thinkin’… for it is not in the planner for today–or any other day!
You Have Bank
In your active addiction, money was a tool that was used to feed an ego that ran amok–and as long as you felt good things such as paying bills and saving for the future could get a back seat or get thrown out the window entirely. A sign that you are a sober person is that you look at the money in your wallet and you find ways to make it work for you. The amount of cabbage that actually is in your wallet may be small, but it is yours and not going towards booze or dope so you have that going for you.
You Write It Down
When you are active in your recovery, you find creative and healthy outlet to channel your emotions–and journaling is one of those outlets. For those in recovery, the practice of journaling started in drug treatment, and it was a great tool to help you keep tabs on your day and was a great barometer in knowing what you were feeling at any given moment. If you continue to put pen to paper to help sort yourself out, it is yet another one of the signs that you are a sober person.
You Pay It Forward
One of the most important signs that you are a sober person is that you make paying it forward a huge part of your recovery program. Whether it is being a sponsor, being an ear to bend or a shoulder to cry on, or doing volunteer work, sobriety has shown you that sharing with others makes you feel good AND furthers your recovery.
Being Yourself
Ultimately, those who are sober embrace their true self, warts and all. You know that things aren’t always pretty, but what you are is pretty awesome and that comes out for all to see.
Kip Shubert
8 years ago
Liked going through the check list. Gave me confidence in my sobriety. Good stuff. Keep it coming.
ron m
8 years ago
Great reminders and reinforcement! Much appreciated
Michele P.
8 years ago
Love the articles!
Patty
8 years ago
Day #52 for me and I am also a Gemini.. Love the post and loving not drinking… Thank you, for your post… Shared on Facebook… 🙂
teri
8 years ago
134 days for this Gemini and never felt better!
Dolores Nugent
8 years ago
thank you for this post. my 25th sober birthday is just around the corner, god willing. there have been many ups and down in my recovery and the constants are what keep me moving forward. these are the constants. it is not all a bed of roses, there have been some sadly
crazy things happen during this sober time but one thing for sure is how sometimes I am very quick on how I feel about something and sometimes I am slow to change how I feel about things. what I think and what I feel really are the biggest part that has changed over all of these years and being sober longer then I had drank is over whelming and amazing.
Angelo
8 years ago
Love Tim!!! ????????????????????????
Sharyn
8 years ago
Thanks for reminding me how fortunate that I was able to get sober. The gifts of sobriety are endless.
Jeannie
8 years ago
Please add me to your mailing list for updates. Love the article
Tim Stoddart
8 years ago
You’re added. Thanks. Glad to have you as part of the family.
julie rozzo
8 years ago
I have been in recovery from alcohol for 11 years and I live my recovery every day. My husband and I are sharing the recovery journey and it has been incredible. Now that hasn’t come without a lot of hard work but it is worth every bit of what we both have gone through. We are both reaping the rewards of our sobriety and are paying it forward each and every day living one day at a time.
We are both avid runners, eat healthy, meditate and we are always on the search for the next great coffee!
Maya
8 years ago
Every single item on this list is accurate. Don and I chose to live without alcohol, sometimes I miss the “fun” but in reality, my life was spiraling. After the kids left home, I started drinking more. I used alcohol as my friend. I would justify, just one glass of wine is good for me. Within a few weeks it would become a bottle, then I would “take a break from drinking”. Then a few weeks later, I would start to justify again. I could see where I was headed.
Now I have to face my sadness, I have to FEEL some of the shit I don’t want to feel. I get to enjoy a moment without the haze of vodka.
Those who know me, know I wasn’t an “alcoholic”. BUT, I sure as shit had a problem when I drank, therefore, I have a drinking problem.
I choose sobriety for me, for Don, for Austin, for Tyler, for all of my friends and for my family.
Lord knows I was fun, wild and crazy. I’m still all of those things, yet now I am also balanced, safe, loved and blessed beyond anything I ever thought possible.
Cheers to all of you who have been apart of my life and support my choices!
I’m happy to say that life without Alcohol has helped me become a much better person.
Ken Cubiotti
8 years ago
Been sober and clean since 8/1/88.
It’s been a journey of life since my sober days started. I became immersed in the rooms of AA and knew that I was safe there. Three meetings per day for many years helped me realize that I was a needed part in society. I have done the things people suggested and I am so grateful today.
The signs you wrote are in my life everyday because my awareness is clear. I never had that using! Thank for my dreams!
Meg
8 years ago
Coming up on my 4 yr mark…..grateful and happy every single day!!!
Jeff McIntyre
8 years ago
In March i will have 37yrs of continuous sobriety. I’m very greatful for every thing i have. The thing I am most grateful for is the knot in my stomach and the feeling I would be found out for the fraud I was. Now I have a sturdy foundation to grow on . Thank you everyone.
Jeff McIntyre
8 years ago
In March i will have 37yrs of continuous sobriety. I’m very greatful for every thing i have. The thing I am most grateful for is the knot in my stomach and the feeling I would be found out for the fraud I was is now gone. Now I have a sturdy foundation to grow on . Thank you everyone.
Penny
8 years ago
LOVE this.. great check list! Just normal day to day activities that at one time were so out of reach..
Nancy
8 years ago
Me only day six
Cindy Dodd
8 years ago
Each of us do it 1 day at a time. It does get better.
Jamila
8 years ago
6 days sober was the day I went to my first meeting. Still shaking and nervous as hell. Now, any meeting feels like home. It’s so worth it. ????
Kimmie
8 years ago
Super rad article. Thanks Tim. Please add me to the mailing list as well.
#sobersince April 18, 2015
Grateful ♡
Robert Evans Houston
8 years ago
Crazy how we all need this sometimes!!
Thanks Tim!
Namaste
Misty
8 years ago
Thank you for this inspiring article! I recently relapsed after only 50+ days sober. It’s hard!! However, everything you’ve just mentioned helps encourage me to forgive my mistake and start my new day fresh. I look forward to when I may truely experience the blessing of sobriety!!
Jamie Huffar
8 years ago
Great article! Almost 4yrs for me and while it’s not always cupcakes and rainbows I am so glad to be sober. Living life with honesty, integrity, grace, forgiveness, and much less stress is so much better than my old way of life. Thanks!
Becky
8 years ago
I love this article! I’m 51 days Sober today and I thank God that I’m on the road to recovery for the final time. I have relapsed many times in the past. But each time, I get sick and depressed. Alcoholism is a horrible disease and I’m not going to die from it. I finally realized that life is a gift from God and I don’t want to let Him down again. This time I’m going to lots of meetings, church, and hang out with only Sober people/friends. I finally realized that you do have to take it one day at a time. I love being Sober and I pray to God all the time to help me stay Sober!
beth
8 years ago
Thank you! I am 4 months 3 days ago. I know I am still new and yes things try to hit hard maybe it’s just my thinking but it’s how we handle them is where my mission excels! 🙂 I am very happy and a new person in God and in Life!
Joan
8 years ago
I was sober for 11 years and relapsed in 2008. Since then I was going on a downward spiral of countless days in detox, jail and sleeping anywhere. I made a conscious decision and effort to quit drinking for good a month and a half ago. I see the changes and recovery I have made since then. It is a challenge and many obstacles to overcome. But it can be done. I wouldn’t trade my recovery for anything. God bless 😉
Larry
8 years ago
…Another well crafted article, Mr. Powers. Keep up the good work.
Cindy Dodd
8 years ago
Thank you for this article.
Damien Jones
8 years ago
I enjoyed the article. 530 days sober. I echo the experiences of many others who have commented. I enjoy being in control of my thoughts and my emotions. When I drank I did not have control. I enjoy my relationships more with others. I love exercise. I enjoy good food (with a healthy dose of junk food thrown in every now and then) and of course those quiet moments of reflection whilst holding a dark strong cup of coffee. I try to remind myself every day that I have absolutely nothing to complain about. That I have had a life of privilege where many others have not so I need to always be thankful for what I have. Life is too short to even in those quiet moments of reflection I try to embrace it will of every second of it. I know if I was still drinking I would not be up to any of it
Kenneth Vaughn
8 years ago
I was that alcoholic who thought I could never stop drinking and also thought I wouldn’t have fun sober but I’m going in to my 3rd year of sobriety and life is so much better, sometimes those who are suffering need to here these posts to know that it’s still possible.
betty peters
8 years ago
Love this! Please add me to your mailing list for updates
I LOVE being sober!!!
Pedro De La Fuente Jr
8 years ago
After 26 years clean and sober , I am still learning and I need that . Life is good and God is great
K. Pedersen
8 years ago
I am 3 years 4 months and 21 days sober. Even now I get mad that I can “never” drink again. It’s everywhere in everything and some days I wonder why I bothered to get sober at all. Then come all the embarrassing and humiliating memories. lol. I truly love being sober. I hold it like my own personal major accomplishment. I pray all the time that I never slip…the dreams of drinking all the time or accidentally getting drunk are finally starting to fade away. I know it wasn’t me who dragged me through the hell of rehab…it was me who made the choice to stay sober. It’s my own boat and I’m driving it. I can’t wait to hit the 10 year mark. I love all of you…at every stage of sobriety…it’s who we are and it doesn’t diminish who we are or who we can be or even who we were. We are mighty soldiers in a battle no one talks about. I thank you for the article…it’s true EVERYTHING changes when you are sober. Let your light shine on and be proud! xo
Dan
8 years ago
I’m glad I read comments because obviously for most of uou….u did love this article. Me, not so much…but perhaps I just have not checked off all these boxes yet like someone who is a “sober person”. Im only at 6 months tho. It’s nice to know these things fall in line if you are sober. I see many sober people (long time sober) who not quite hitting the mark yet with respect to checking off the boxes on your list. Guess they not really sober, huh? Perhaps it might be intended more as a guide of these things do tend to fall into place easier…or these are new goals to aspire towards after being sober…but for me…a sign that you are really a sober person??? I guess it just hit me wrong and I wanted to respectfully share my opinion on how a newbie in program interpreted this article. I love the site tho for sure. Thx for letting me share.
Jamila
8 years ago
Please add me to the mailing list as well! Great article.
matt
8 years ago
i was with you till you said coffee.. i’m not trying to compare alcohol or any other drug to coffee, but caffeine and sugar are both drugs, they both alter your brain chemistry,
Oddlady
5 years ago
Thank you so much for this – I found it via another site (boozemusings.com) where one of the members had shared it These are 15 awesome tips and many apply to me most days (4 years now).
What I will say is the the sobriety community is the most loving and utterly honest and life-affirming people I have ever met (in 6 decades.) All the pretence is gone and here we are, walking each other home, each and every day….. Namaste, Tim Powers. <3
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