Self-centered fear is not as complex as one may think. A self-centered fear is an irrational fear centered around the self-real or imagined. There are a number of things that contribute to this. Self-esteem being one of the biggest among them all. The next part of self-centered fear is the fear of what others think of us.
Guess what?! What others think of us is none of our business! I know, easier said than done. I still struggle in this area myself. We will go through the sources, learn a bit about what this is, and what it means for us, then we will get down to the nitty-gritty of what steps we can take to help combat this thing called self-centered fear!
The Why of Self-Centered Fear
There are so many reasons that self-centered fear develops, comes about, however you want to say it. I will take some time here to go over some of them.
Guilt and Shame
Shame is when we feel that we have done some horrible thing, most of the time we have not that we are somehow not worth the air we breathe. Shame is when we feel that we cannot look people in the eye because we feel inferior, less than, and like we don’t deserve anything good. This could be from anything like feeling you have failed as a parent, to abandoning your kids, to forgetting to take the trash out. Or, it could be absolutely nothing at all. It is an internal process that we must work through within ourselves.
Low Self-Worth, Low Self-Esteem, and Poor Self Perception
All of these factors are huge in playing a role in self-centered fear. I truly believe, from my own experience, that every single one of the ideas I’ve talked about here, are absolutely true. Let me tell you that there is a way to work through this. There is a way to get healthy. It takes a lot of self awareness and a desire to change.
Resources for Self-Centered Fear
There are a number of views and sources surrounding this issue including the Alcoholics Anonymous Big Book, Alcoholics Anonymous Twelve and Twelve, and, Narcotics Anonymous pamphlet, The Triangle of Self-Obsession.
Psychology Today answers many questions related to the field of psychology. According to Psychology Today, Self-Centered fear usually stems from negative self-thoughts, a negative or poor self-perception, low self-worth, and low self-esteem. These cause our thoughts and feelings of ourselves project onto others. It is believed by this site that we are convinced that others see us as we see ourselves.
The Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous mentions Fear many times throughout its pages. Chapter 5 of the AA Big Book is the Chapter How it Works. This chapter mentions this type of fear a number of times. AA says that Self-Centered Fear is a natural part of the spiritual sickness of the Disease of Alcoholism.
The Triangle of Self-Obsession
The according to the Triangle of Self Obsession, Resentment, Anger, and Fear are all contributing factors to the development of Self-Centered Fear.
Sobriety Engine is an online resource for those that are struggling with addiction or that have been sober for a longtime. In this, community members have discussions and nightly meetings to discuss fears, coping skills, and ways to stay connected with each other. Monthly therapists and guests are brought in to discuss trauma, fear, and other topics that may contribute to self-centered fear.