Name: Walter Hubler
Sober Since: /1 / 92 / 01/1
Sober For: 29 Years & 255 Days
What it was like?
I was a daily heavy drinker for about 25 years and over 35 years in total who fancied myself as a gold medal champion drinker. I told myself all that time that I wasn't an alcoholic because I worked and paid bills (mostly)..I got married had children drank "top shelf" booze. How could I possibly be a drunk? Eventually the marriage went away..the house and the money...but I still persisited with the notion that I was just a great heavy drinker who was a pretty nice guy. Of course some DWIs and a little jail time were just bad luck. When I found my way to AA I had gotten remarried to my bartender! Seemed like a great idea right? I avoid AAs or any sober people like they had a rare disease so I had no connection to sobriety. Some of my family members had died of neglect related to alcohol, or as a direct result of drinking themselves to death..my closest was my own mother, but then again she drank cheap wine and not my top shelf stuff..I never considered during all those years that the apple may have fallen rotting at the the bottom of the tree. Denial was in my blood.
Quite simply one morning after a typical Friday night drunk something came over me when I went to the mirror to get ready to go to work. I simply knew that I had ceased functioning as a human being and could go no further with my best friend alcohol. Yet I also had no idea how to live without it.I called the only person that I suspected might be in "that AA"thing and I suspected that even he was nipping secretly to avoid career consequences. He invited me to meet him and go to a meeting the next day and try not drinking beforehand. I was able to do that somehow and got to my first meeting ironically in the front seat of a police car as he was the chief of police! Irony a plenty as I avoided the police as much as I did dry people. I was able to get through my first AA meeting and wouldn't say that I was an alchoholic at it...I was afraid to own it! But my driver (2years sober) and another "old timer" (3 years sober at the time) talked with me afterwards (I got 12th stepped LOL)..and somehow I made to my second meeting a couple of days later. The speaker looked like somebody I'd have zero in common with and I kept my distance. When he told his story about halfway through it hit me that we were exactly alike and I was able to say the words.."I'm an alchoholic" A weight beyond description was lifted from me. Of course there was much work to be done to remain sober! But that was the beggining of my journey in sobriety.
What it is like now?
Life has been fascinating if not always easy. I didn't get rich but I got riches beyond comprehension. i have developed a spiritual side (very much the agnostic at the start). I've had too many adventures of every type to relate in this small writing, in every manner, both physical and emotional. I have a semblance of peace that eluded me my entire life before recovery. Put simply I'm 73 now and still grateful every day. And I am "reasonably happy" which for me is a jackpot compared with how my life felt before.