Sober Since: 03 / 01 / 1995
Sober For: 27 Years & 88 Days
What it was like?
I grew up in a house with an alcoholic mother who had severe mental illness. She had 5 documented personalities. As a child I suffered severe abuse from my mother and her personalities. My mother drank and used drugs while pregnant with me. As an infant my mother would put whiskey in my bottle to make me sleep so she didn’t have to deal with me. As a child I had access to booze every day. I learned to cope with life and numb myself from the pain, shame, guilt of the abuse I was suffering with by turning to the bottle and then as an 8 year old to smoking pot. I had been smoking cigarettes since I was 5. As a teenager my tolerance had built up and I needed more booze, better drugs. In early adulthood I chose abusive relationships. I met My first husband and children’s father while in a blackout drunk. After several years of horrible abuse from this man I decided enough was enough. I left him. I moved from one DV shelter to the next as he was like a bloodhound finding me and my children. He had it in his mind that the children and I were his property. He wanted us dead. I drank very heavily during those dark years.
A friend of mine wanted to help me. She took me to her Alanon meeting. I was of course drunk so the Alanon lady escorted me out of the Alanon meeting and into The AA meeting next-door. I learned about alcoholic’s and alcoholics anonymous and I learned that I could not control my drinking once I started I could not stop. I had many relapses in that first year of going to Alcoholics Anonymous. I eventually got a sponsor and I work the 12 steps I Began doing service work immediately watching ashtrays pouring coffee washing tables then I became a secretary a chair person and alternate GSR a GSR and then eventually a DCM.The miracle of it has been sharing my experience strength and hope with another alcoholic just like me and watching them find a the hope of a life of recovery.
What it is like now?
I continue to go to AA meetings I continue to be of service I continue to work with my sponsor and I continue to share my experience strength and hope with other alcoholics.