Sober Since: 10 / 03 / 2015
Sober For: 6 Years & 232 Days
What it was like?
I started experimenting with substances at a young age, a normal age to do those things. I did it to have fun and explore. I didnt know the rabbit hole I was heading down. I started to look for all the wrong things with the wrong people, again not realising the damage I was causing my life. My addiction crept up on me slowly and then hit me like a train. I tried to save myself so many times and I couldnt do it for so long. It wasnt until I was able to really evaluate where I had ended up that I got the courage to ask for help. By then my life was slipping away so quickly and I couldnt do it alone anymore. My past had me emotionally bankrupt. I was so lost as that girl. I lacked integrity, confidence and a voice. I was floating through life with no direction. I was full of denial and fear for life.
Finally, I had enough of my misery. I saw someone close to me that I had used with for years, happy. I wanted that and I decided to have a little bit of surrender. My story involves treatment. It was there I learned who I was. It was there I learned how to love myself. I was given the tools I needed to build my new life. Its a blessing that I havent had to relapse since. Today, I am full of love and compassion. I want nothing but the best for myself, because I learned how to respect myself.
What it is like now?
Today, I have dreams bigger then I ever have. I feel emotion, all of it, and its beautiful. Im a friend, a daughter, and a sister. I love fiercly and im proud of the image I see in the mirror. Something this has taught me is NEVER GIVE UP. So many times I wanted to do just that. At 2.5 years into my sobriety I'm so grateful I didnt. Im blessed to have a voice and a story I hope can help someone else in pain. Thank you very much for taking the time to read a little bit about myself.