What it was like?

I was in active addiction for 26 years. I would get off one substance and switch to another. Whatever you put in front of me, I would do. Meth, opiates, coke, shrooms, weed, alcohol, acid, whatever.

What happened?

One night I tried to kill myself. I was drunk and I thought it was the only way out of my lifetime of addiction. Right before I passed out from the exhaust fumes, I saw a vision of my daughter's face before my eyes. I rolled out of the truck, went home and asked my family for help. I met an amazing counselor, I was in recovery for two years, relapsing every 3-4 months, before we got to the root of my issues and I've been sober ever since. We realized I'm cycolothymic (baby bi-polar) and that I'd been self medicating my entire life. I started taking Lamictal, an anti seizure medication that works for bi-polar with no side affects, and I've been clean and sober ever since. I resisted trying medication at first, told her I didn't want any "pharmaceutical poison." She said, "Oh, but you'll down a fifth of vodka in 3 hours." I had nothing for that but, "touche" lol.

What it is like now?

Life is great. I've learned to keep my center. I've learned to let go and quit being a control freak; that anger and frustration are caused by wanting to be in control of things we're not in control of. I've been steadily employed for 6 years, I've returned to school and will be getting my degree in Behavioral Science in May of next year. I plan to become a recovery coach and work in the field until I have enough hours to become a Certified Addictions Counselor. The degree will count as 1000 hours worked in the field.

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