Sober Since: 09 / 29 / 2013
Sober For: 8 Years & 241 Days
What it was like?
In college my alcoholic tendencies emerged. It didn't take much coercion to get me to go out any day of the week and always drank to excess, but it was college so it was fun. My problem drinking didn't really start until I was 24. I married my college sweetheart, I had my Masters Degree and a great job, but I was unhappy. I was anxious. I was living someone else's life. I lived up to standards that others placed on me. So I drank. My marriage resolved. My drinking escalated and now my work was being affected. My attendance suffered and my health, mental and physical, started to deteriorate. I gained a lot of weight. I remarried again to another addict. He was abusive and tried to kill me in a drug induced rage. I moved from job to job. I was depressed, self-loathing, a liar, and I was dying. I soon became sick everyday. I have permanent esophagel damage and my liver and pancreas were not functioning very well. I was ashamed of who I had become.
One day someone actually faced me and said I had a drinking problem. No one ever really said that to me directly. I hid it a lot. For whatever reason I binged on 9/28/13 for the last time and sought treatment.
What it is like now?
Since then, my life is amazing. I lost 50 lbs and aside from my esophagus my body rebounded and im healthy. I have a stable wonderful career and I'm getting married on 5/1/18 to a wonderful man who has 2 teen girls. So now I'm a step-Mom. Words can't express what it's like to not be disgusted with myself. I'm honest now and live my life to help others and it's such a blessing. I am so grateful.