What it was like?

Life was total chaos. I couldn't see light at the end of the tunnel. I lived to use and used to live.

What happened?

A moment of clarity with my children and the man I have since married. I never wanted to see such a level of disappointment in my kid's eyes again. I realized that in order to give myself a chance at true love, I needed to get clean and sober. In sobriety I was able to leave an abusive relationship and start anew. I left with my kids, my dog and my jeep. I never looked back.

What it is like now?

I accept that I must abstain from ALL mind altering substances in order to recover. My life is filled with child like wonder and joy. I celebrate the "absence from need". My children bring their addicted friends to me for advice. That is a blessing I can't even begin to describe.