Sober Since: 07 / 18 / 2014
Sober For: 7 Years & 311 Days
What it was like?
My grandparents had passed away and I didn't know how to cope with that. At the same time I started hanging out with the wrong crowd and I was feeling vulnerable and didn't want to feel the pain anymore. I started using cocaine and from that first time, I was hooked. The feeling of not feeling was just what I thought I needed. After a few years of doing a lot of cocaine everyday, I went to Italy for 3 weeks. After coming home I was good for a little bit. Met my ex husband and things went downhill from there. Started taking pills and for the next 8 years, my life went in a downward spiral. I was in an abusive relationship, I put myself in dangerous situations, and the worst part was, I thought I had it all under control. I was in denial. My habit got the best of me. Taking 25 oxy 30's a day, you can say my life had become unmanageable. I woke every day and went to work which I made good money and didn't really think I had a problem. It wasn't until I noticed my paychecks were going to my drug dealer and I owed all my friends money that I had a problem and needed help.
I came home from work one day and my family gave me an intervention. My best friend had went to my family and told them i had a problem and needed help. At first I fought everyone away and locked myself in my room. After calming down, I went upstairs and I agreed to go away because I knew that was my only way out without ending up dead. So we called a rehab out in P.A and the next day I was on my way to Mirmount Treatment Center in Lima, Pennsylvania. A place that I would later thank for saving my life and giving me meaning again.
What it is like now?
After getting out of rehab I moved back in with my husband, who was still using. Six months later I left for good and filed for divorce. Through outpatient and meetings I got my life back together. After a year and a half I met my boyfriend, who is also in recovery, we have two beautiful daughters and we are in the midst of buying a house together. I never knew I could love life again. It's crazy because at one point in my life, I didn't care if I died as long as I died high. But now, I couldn't picture my life any better. Im not going to pretend that every day is so easy because it's not. I still fight demons and challenges, but I now know how to deal with things and talk to people and not resort back to drugs. Life couldn't be any better right now.