Name: Kelly Robertson
Sober Since: 08 / 04 / 2014
Sober For: 5 Years & 249 Days
What it was like?
I had a long-time affair with my bestie, Clos du Bois. I loved him so much. He was with me every single day, no fail, for years and he was always there for me no matter what. Sure, there was a lot of planning, hiding and lies but I got away with it for so long. I thought I was so clever - no one had a clue, right? I was really good at the persona I created. After all, I was a First Sergeant in the military and couldn't be found out. I was close to retiring but the pressures ... I had a lot of people who depended on me and I wasn't that bad. I never met my bestie at work but secretly, I couldn't wait to get home to be with him again.
I woke up one day and had a "knowing" that I was close to getting caught. I was just one decision from disaster --ruining my career, my marriage, my life. I knew that I had to break up with my him, my bestie, my confidant, my long-time companion who was always there for me. I was sad because very quickly I realized that not only did I lose my bestie but I also lost all my friends... I guess because they were my drinking buddies. I was alone and afraid but I asked GOD, my guides and angels to give me the direction I needed to live again. They led me to a day treatment program and by day #3, I was balling like a baby, broke down to parade rest. I woke up every day for a month, crazy thirsty with a sober hang-over, but I knew that the break up saved my life. I was a slave to him and he was killing me for years. I hadn't met my military career goals but submitted my retirement papers anyway and went out the same way I came in: Quietly and no party.
What it is like now?
FREEDOM TO LOVE ME AND KNOW TO NEVER GIVE MY POWER AWAY AGAIN. This song says a lot -- "I can see clearly now, the rain is gone, I can see all obstacles in my way, gone are the dark clouds that had me blind, it's gonna be a bright (bright) bright (bright) sunshiny day.."