What it was like?

Getting clean for the 4th or 5 time was the more painful than it had been every time before. More than 7 rehabs, 12 step recovery models and one alternative treatment, I had finally had enough. A switch was flipped and I have not wanted to take a drink or drug since this day.

What happened?

In 2015 I went through a very painful relapse. Professionally and personally I wasn't happy with where I was and wasn't able to accept what was being thrown at me. After an embarrassing arrest my family helped me back into treatment where I began absorbing every book and novel that had a message of recovery and inspired me to lead a better life. I learned to change some of vocabulary that I was overly attached to within 12 step recovery models, things that have kept me in a cycle of "being an addict".

What it is like now?

Today, I watch how I speak to myself. As a person in long term recovery, that to me means I haven't had a drink or taken a drug since November 6th 2015. While I took an unconventional path to the place I am in today, the basic outline of my story is the same as many others. From my inability to accept life on lifes terms, I turned to drugs and alcohol. I am lucky to be alive. Today, I've learned to live with truth, honesty, and integrity. I can now take responsibility for my past mistakes and most importantly my current choices. There are many gifts in recovery, and the most valuable are not the tangible ones. For 2 years I've worked with adults who are trying to get their high school education and worked closely with non readers and those who use English as a Second Language. I've helped train dogs to increase their chances of adoption through the Humane Society for nearly a year. These experiences have shown me how to live outside myself and to try to live for the benefit of others. In the past, the stronger I grasped my own self the larger my problems have become. Recovery has allowed me the chance to work with others, people and animals, who often are far more disadvantaged than I ever was.