Sober Since: 09 / 27 / 2018
Sober For: 0 Years & 236 Days
What it was like?
I was living a lie everyday of my life. I was really good at hiding it in the beginning. But then slowly over time I was out of control. Hiding bottles of alcohol, having to drink from the time I woke up to the time I finally passed out not to get buzzed/drunk but to level out. My tremors were crazy I had to consume & keep down enough alcohol to get those under control in order to go to work. I’m a hairdresser so shaky hands did not help. I would try and cut back or only drink on weekends/ or when I had the next day off. I’d go to meetings but was still drinking. I was living a lie and slowly drinking myself to death. It wasn’t matter of “if” but a matter of “when”
The last 4 years were the worst. I’d been hospitalized 11 times all because of my excessive drinking. As crazy as it sounds I literally woke up one day and was DONE!! I hated the person I had become. As they say, “I was sick & tired of being sick & tired.” It was in that moment I knew what I had to do. I had to surrender and admit I needed help.
What it is like now?
Better than I could have ever imagined. I never knew I could enjoy life sober. For once I’m actually “present” in my life. Everyday isn’t always rainbows and sunshine but I know that solving life’s problems isn’t at the bottom of a bottle.