What it was like?

It was like wanting to die every day. For about 12 years. I no longer had control. I lost everything, and I lost who I was and hated my life. I didn't know who I was, my core values out the door. I was lost and addicted. There was no light at the end of the tunnel. I was hooked with a needle in my arm. I was playing Russian roulette every day. The only relationship I had was heroin and meth and they loved me. It was darkest storm in my life with no rainbows.

What happened?

I went to Rehab and that didn't work for me. Just found connections and more drugs. I had all of these overdoses, visits to the ER just to wake up and do it again. Finally, I got arrested and everything was slow motion and I had that feeling of surrender. What a blessing in disguise. I spent a month in jail and got sober and into a drug court program, AA and had a strong support system. I changed people, places, and things. After all, I don't look pretty in orange. I had a moment of clarity and was spiritually awaken. Plus, I realized I needed to grow up. I had two daughters waiting to get Mom back. I loved the feeling of accomplishment every month I was sober. My Journey begun!

What it is like now?

Today, I am happy, joyous and free. I live life on it's own terms not mine. I grew up and became the love of my life. I can get through any obstacle in life. I have a choice and I choose to never pick up no matter what. I continue to accept, grow, love myself. I am blessed, and I worked so hard to get where I'm at today! I love the person I am and the person I'm yet to become.