What it was like?

I battled with different addictions beginning at the age of 23. Drug of choice was Meth. My mother passed away in 2007, and in 2009, I lost my 35 year old brother from an accidental overdose. After the loss of the two people I was closest to in the world, I went spiraling downhill fast. I began using anything I could get my hands on, Meth, cocaine, pills of any kind, and alcohol. I just wanted to numb all the pain. I didn't mention that I had suppressed a lot of my childhood, as I was molested by a family " friend" and a family member as well. But I guess I couldn't forget as hard as I tried. I struggled trying to forget the abuse, but to no avail, it just wouldn't go away. I could go on and on about my horrible childhood and such, but I'm sure you get the point.

What happened?

I survived two overdoses. I also survived 3 suicide attempts, 2 from pills and one from hanging myself, should have never survived that one. I was found in my Dad's garage by a friend, who kicked the door in and cut me down. I had lost oxygen to my brain for several minutes. I have scars that are a constant reminder of that day. But, I am forever grateful to still be here. I have had Lupus for 19 year's, which is a autoimmune disease, so I definitely didn't have any business doing drugs and drinking. I lost track of all the times I spent in the hospital, due to my drug use. I would get kidney infections, UTI'S, countless staph infections due to being an IV user. As well as getting abscesses on my lungs from smoking meth, that nearly killed me. My husband of 32 years is also an addict of many years and has been incarcerated for nearly 2 years, thus far with a 20 yr. and a 5 yr. sentence, all stemming from his addictions. I felt all alone and knew I needed to change, and by the grace of God I am here to tell my story. It took my 3 beautiful grown daughters not speaking to me and not letting me see my 3 grandson's. I believe " humility" was one of the greatest things to make me open my eyes and want to change. You see, each of my daughters at one point in time, posted thing's on their Facebook page about myself and their father. At first I was angry that they would put my "dirty laundry" on there for the whole world to see, but then I felt humiliation, as I have always cared about what people thought. Anyways, I AM HERE TODAY, AND AM VERY GRATEFUL FOR MY LIFE.

What it is like now?

Now, I have a terrific relationship with each of my daughters, I have a beautiful relationship and understanding with God. Without him, I would not be here today. I am getting healthier every day, my Lupus is under control. I also get to enjoy my Grandson's, and it may sound "odd" to say, but even with my husband incarcerated, we have a better relationship than we've had in many year's. Being sober is truly the best Gift, I am truly living for the first time in a long time. I take one day at a time, I am a survivor and truly blessed.