What it was like?

I was an exhausted monster. I hated waking up so I never went to sleep and when I did sleep it was for days at a time. I missed so many things with my kids and my daughter carried the responsibility on caring for her 2 younger brothers. When I was awake I was violent and hostile, negative and mean. Everything was the end of the world. I lost faith in myself as a person and trust in myself as a mother.

What happened?

I was ready to give up my children and run. The reality of such a decision was so unlike me. I have always been a fighter so the idea of giving up the fight for a better life for my kids terrified me. Something had to change...I had to change. This could not be what my kids would remember their lives as.

What it is like now?

I'm the right kind of tired. I'm the closest I've ever been with all my children. They're excelling in school and extra curricular activities. We've rebuilt our family bond, they trust me again and I trust myself. I love being a mother again, I love being present in their lives, they're excited to spend time with me again. We found peace and hope together and being sober has never been easier. I wake up excited for the life I get to share with my children.