Quitting Marijuana: Getting Through the First Changes

Original reader account; the contributor's name is not available, and time references are from the original publication. Editorial help follows below.

Marijuana was a subtle friend, turned foe.

In my experience, I believe marijuana is one of the world's most underestimated drugs in terms of the destruction it can cause to one's life. I'm speaking from personal experience. I was a pothead for 14 years.

I've been marijuana free for 3 years in September and it is only in the last 6 months that I've been able to feel clearheaded for the first time since my addiction began. My memories of the years in which I used are at best sketchy. I feel as if I lost the prime of my life in a puff of smoke.

Smoking pot began as a social thing at school for me. A joint was going around. I smoked some and it felt good. I actually felt great. I remember the first time so clearly because I thought I had glimpsed heaven. I didn't know it then, but what I had actually glimpsed was hell.

It wasn't until I was 20 that marijuana took a firm hold of my life. I started smoking regularly to ease the pressure of my university studies and soft depression. It began with a bag every couple of weeks. It quickly progressed to a bag every week and then every few days. At the height of my smoking career I was going through an ounce a week, spending the money I needed for food, gas and household bills on poisoning my mind and lungs. I always blamed the bad things that had happened in my life for the way I felt. It was never the pot. That was my only saving grace. It's only now that I can see that pot was the root of all my troubles.

I lost a multitude of things from smoking pot. Some of which were:

• Money
• Friends
• The ability to focus
• Mental function
• Stability

In the end, I lost my mind. I became paranoid and delusional, all the while in complete denial about what was happening. At my peak I was hiding in my house and smoking around 7 joints a night. I wouldn't answer the door if anyone came knocking. I avoided social and family contact because I preferred to get stoned and couldn't hold down a conversation. I took a lot of sick days off work and would have preferred to quit and just smoke all day, however, I needed the cash to support my addiction. I was heavily depressed and constantly had conspiracy theories raging in my head about who didn't like me and why, or who was jealous of me and why, or who didn't support me and why. I constantly replayed the bad things that had happened to me in my life. My head had become a very damaged record which played the same terrible song over and over.

I tried quitting countless times in the last year of my smoking when I knew I was going down a point of no return. However, each time I got stressed it was the first thing I turned to. Then the best thing that could have happened did. I got sick, really sick. I developed a cough that lasted for weeks and in the end was bedridden. I tried to smoke through it, but my lungs literally wouldn't allow it. This was the catalyst I needed to catapult me into freedom from Marijuana.

My Mirror

I was on my way to the doctor, walking through the hallway when a man who I had previously smoked with approached me. Although I hadn't known him as a young person, people told me that he had been an intelligent student and promising sportsman with a bright future. The person I had met couldn't have been further away from that. He was regularly in and out of the mental ward at the local hospital and I had not had a lucid conversation with him since we met...until that day. He walked up to me and said hello. I knew straight away that something was very different about him. He told me that he had not smoked for 2 weeks and was going to AA (we don't have NA in the small town where I live). He spoke clearly and concisely and told me he had never felt better in his life. He was smiling and seemed really sane. Without realizing what I was even saying, the words came tumbling out, "I'm as bad as you, I just hide it better." In that moment I saw for the first time what pot had done to me. He was my mirror. I thought, 'Here is the maddest person I know and I'm just like him. If he can give it up, I can too'. I asked him when and where the next AA meeting was and three days later I was sitting at my first meeting, feeling like I was where I was meant to be for the first time in a very long time.

I have never looked back and my life has gotten better and better with the passing days, weeks, months and now years. I have a social life. I have reconnected with my family. I can remember what I do and say from one day to the next. I no longer feel depressed all the time. Instead I have good days and bad days, which are proportionate with the events that occur in my life. When things don't run as smoothly as I would like, I am so much better equipped to deal with it. I realise that I am not the bad things that happen in my life. Instead I am the person who can choose how to react to them and choose to leave them behind.

Because I am out and about and living my life, rather than smoking it away, I met a wonderful man a couple of years ago. Nine months ago I gave birth to our son, Jago. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I am a good mother and I treasure every clean living day I have with him. I know he would never have come into my life if I was still smoking and thank goodness for that, because I would have been a terrible mother if I was.

I am one of the lucky ones. I still see some of the people I used to smoke with at the supermarket or down the mall. The man I was just telling you about went back to smoking a couple of weeks after I quit. He is still smoking today and continues to go in and out of the mental ward. I feel so sad and so blessed as he is again my mirror, but on the flip side.

Quitting is hard, but not quitting is harder. I love my life and I now realize how much I want to do with it and how very little time we really have, even if we make it to our old age. I don't want to waste another day. This is something I never would have said if I was still smoking pot.

Additional help from Sober Nation

What the first changes can feel like

NIDA lists these common cannabis withdrawal symptoms: anger and irritability, feeling nervous or anxious, restlessness, decreased appetite, low mood, insomnia, strange or unsettling dreams, headaches, sweating, stomach pain, and tremor (source).

There is no fixed timeline, and experiences vary from person to person. Talk to a clinician if symptoms feel unmanageable.

Practical ways through the first stretch

• Clear the house. Flower, vapes, edibles, grinders, and the contact you buy from. Ask someone else to do it if you cannot.
• Protect sleep. Same bedtime nightly, no screens in bed, less caffeine late in the day.
• Eat on a schedule even when you have no appetite, and keep water nearby.
• Move every day. A walk counts.
• Name your triggers. Stress, boredom, and the end of the workday are common; HALT is a simple check.
• Have a craving plan. Ten minutes of anything else, then reassess; see coping with cravings.
• Tell someone. Having one person who knows the plan makes it easier to keep.

Mood, sleep, and mental health while quitting

Some people used cannabis to quiet anxiety or low mood, and those feelings can return when they stop. Research has linked cannabis use with depression and, in some groups, with suicidal thoughts and behavior, though NIDA notes the nature of these relationships is not fully understood (source). If your mood drops below what you can manage, that is a reason to see a doctor or therapist. Our guide on anxiety in early sobriety has practical steps.

Two physical notes. NIDA describes cannabinoid hyperemesis syndrome, a cycle of nausea, vomiting, and stomach pain associated with long-term heavy use that resolves only when use stops completely (source); if that sounds familiar, see a doctor, who can help with the symptoms. And if you have ever had paranoia or hallucinations while using, mention it to a clinician; NIDA reports that cannabis use has been associated with psychosis in people with certain risk factors (source).

Treatment and support that has evidence

There is no FDA-approved medication for cannabis use disorder or for cannabis withdrawal, but behavioral treatments can help. NIDA reports that cognitive behavioral therapy, motivational enhancement therapy, and contingency management can be effective (source). The right setting for you, from outpatient sessions to more intensive care, depends on your situation, other substance use, and mental health, and is something to decide with a clinician. A treatment program can tell you which of these approaches it offers; ask directly.

Peer support matters too. Many people find recovery meetings useful when cannabis was their main drug. Groups vary, so it is reasonable to try more than one.

When to get urgent help

Call 911 if someone has severe chest pain, a seizure, vomiting they cannot stop, or is a danger to themselves or others. Call or text 988, the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline, if you or someone you love is thinking about suicide. Do not wait to see whether it passes.