Apr 22, 2016 | By Brittney Evans

Shit that 12-Steppers Say

12 Step Recovery Recovery

Shit That 12-Steppers Say

If you’ve ever been to a 12-step meeting, even once then you know what we’re talking about. Those slogans they have that after a long day of work or perhaps a day of no work at all are enough to make you roll your eyes. The funny part though is how applicable they are to life, and how helpful they actually are regarding staying sober. That doesn’t make them any less annoying.

**disclaimer: This article is not by any means trying to place a negative view on 12-step fellowships. We believe that 12-step fellowships absolutely do work and they are an amazing way to obtain and maintain meaningful sobriety.

Here is some shit that 12-steppers say:

One Day at a Time


“Really? Because I was already thinking about how I can’t have a champagne toast at the hypothetical wedding I’ll have to marry the guy I’m not even dating.”

Just Don’t Pick Up No Matter What

Don't Pick Up

“Yeah, pretty sure if I knew how to do that I wouldn’t be here.”

Meeting Makers Make It

meeting makers

“Pshh, then why am I working these steps?”

Stick With The Winners


“Ugh, but the people sitting in the back row with all the tattoos who are playing on their phones and vaping look like so much more fun.”

It Works If You Work It

work it

“Uh… wait, what? What am I working? Yeah, I have a pretty busy schedule…”

Get a Sponsor and Work the Steps


“Oh Right. So I was thinking maybe I’d skip this part. The whole taking suggestions from someone whom I trust and tell the truth to, that’s not really my thing. I just want to stop drinking.”

Go to 90 Meetings in 90 Days

90 in 90

“Um, I don’t see this in the 12 steps that you’re already telling me I have to do, who the hell comes up with this stuff? 

The Newcomer is the Most Important Person in the Room


“Obviously you guys must not know about me. You mean you didn’t see my Instagram selfie? I’m pretty important.”

Pray For Them


“Listen. Clearly you just don’t understand the gravity of the situation or you misunderstood what I said. I hate them, I loathe the very fact that they exist, I want to … oh you did hear me correctly… you still want me to pray for them … you sure you’re sober?”

Let Go and Let God

Let go

“Why does everyone keep bringing up god? More importantly, let go of what? I’m not holding on to anything. My hands are open. I’m just standing here. With my hands open. Like a jackass.”

Attitude of Gratitude


:: sighs in exasperated manner ::

Life on Life’s Terms


“I don’t even know wtf this means.”

It’s a Simple Program for Complicated People


Oh yeah. It’s SO simple. ALL I have to do is quit using, go to meetings, get a sponsor, work the steps, do service, change everything, be accountable, find a higher power, have a spiritual experience, pray, meditate, blah blah blah blaaaah!”

Progress Not Perfection


“Nope. I am the best. I am a golden goddess, a divine being that radiates perfection.”

One is Too Many and a Thousand is Never Enough

One is too many

“Hmn, just like these slogans.”

Easy Does It


“You know, I most certainly do need to take it easy. I need some quality me time. I’ve really been overworking myself. I’ll take the week off.”

Time Takes Time


“Deeeeeeeep. I had no idea that’s the way it worked. Who knew that time is indeed related to time. These people, that’s who.

Insanity is Doing the Same Thing Over and Over and Expecting Different Results


“You people are insane.”

25 responses to “Shit that 12-Steppers Say

  • Christopher

    8 years ago

    Been clean and sober for 12 years just got a kick out of all this too funny! thanks

  • It’s so dang true!!!
    Thanks for the light look at the way I am getting through this life!!

  • John King

    8 years ago

    Problems are complicated, that’s the nature of problems. Solutions are like truth, easy to understand once you discover them. The trick is to discover them. They are so simple you can’t find them by yourself! If someone says they found a solution but it is complicated they have found another problem!!

  • Casey Piazza

    8 years ago

    You forgot one “God did for me what I couldn’t do for myself”

    *clean 15 months*

  • Love!!!
    These saved my life and gave me a life worth having!

  • Carren Ross

    8 years ago

    Yep, some new ones on there for me but the ONE DAY AT A TIME was modified (by me) to one hour/minute/second and it then translated into the entire day! These all might sound cheesy but they have kept me clean and sober for 40 YEARS! Who would have thought that. OH, let me add one more to the list, that I heard at my first meeting (also not in the materials) “Do not get serious/into a relationship with anyone in the first year.” On my first sobriety birthday (sanity had not returned yet) I married the first guy I meet at a meeting – we just celebrated 39 years married. I don’t know what that says but I am enjoying sobriety a lot more than the booze & drugs.

  • G.O.D – good orderly direction
    Live and let live
    First things first
    Faith not fear
    Surrender to win
    There’s 1000’s of them .. And they’ve saved my life
    M *

  • I find it insulting, and distasteful, since, NO OTHER ENTITY IN THE WORLD, has helped more alcoholics to recover than the Grand Daddy of all 12 step programs, Alcoholics Anonymous. I have seen things like this published for years, and the same holds true today, as it did back in 1935. One alcoholic talking to another alcoholic, is a power greater than an alcoholic only talking to itself! There are other ways to MARKET other sobriety options, and making a mockery out of AA, or any other twelve step program is just disgraceful and not a way to do it! There are many sayings that I don’t agree with, however, if they help others to get through a moment, just a moment in time, then they worked! I loath the saying, meeting makers make it, only because the second part of that statement is “rarely” spoken. I have my opinions about REHABS, however, it would be pointless for me to express them, because, I do not have an agenda, nor am I looking to profit from anyone! So, market your “PRODUCT” by it’s fruits and not by assassination!

  • Let’s not forget ….
    S O B E R !
    (Son Of a Bitch Everything’s Real)

  • This is exactly what my 20 years of sobriety needed to read and under stand.

  • I love all these.. they have helped me stay sober n clean for 3 years. Something I never thought was possible. I know I say at least one if these in general through the day. As well as the serenity prayer. I over thought a lot of these sayings. Bottom line they are simple. It’s a simple program for complicated people.

  • Teresa Rodden

    5 years ago

    I think the “slogans” are fine, it’s in the flippant and almost arrogant way they are often used. For instance, they are commonly used to shut down any questioning. You ask a stepper a question to invite a deeper conversation or better understanding and it is cut short with a slogan. Don’t think for yourself… your best thinking got you here.

  • Some slogans are definitely more valuable than others to me. That having been said, I must say “progress not perfection” out loud half a dozen times per week.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

24/7 Rehab Help (866) 207-7436 Sponsored | Who Answers

Contact Sober Nation's Sponsored Hotline

If you are seeking drug and alcohol related addiction rehab for yourself or a loved one, the SoberNation.com hotline is a confidential and convenient solution.

Calls to any general hotline (non-facility) will be answered by Treatment Addiction Solutions

Alternatives to finding addiction treatment or learning about substance:

If you wish to contact a specific rehab facility then find a specific rehab facility using our treatment locator page or visit SAMHSA.gov.

To learn more about how Sober Nation operates, please contact us