About a week ago, we put a post on social media. The post reads as follows.
At first glance, there was nothing special or noticeable about this post. It’s business as usual. We were just making ourselves available to those who are still struggling. Unfortunately, this post turned into an argument. The same type of argument that we see happen too often.
The argument started from me using the word “recovered” in the post. Depending who you ask, alcoholics either recover, or they never recover, or they are recovering… who knows? Time and time again, I see trivial debates on the page over issues that I feel are irrelevant. Here is why…
We are here to help people. That is it. Sober Nation does not take sides. We do not care if you go to AA, if you are Atheist, if you are a Wiccan. We do not care if you go the therapy, or if you use the SMART recovery method. Maybe one day you just decided to quit. It matters not to us. These futile debates over terminology and methodology of the “right way to get sober,” are taking attention away from the real reason we are all here. That reason is to extend ourselves to the addict or alcoholic who still needs help.
When we first started Sober Nation, we were very careful not to push one recovery program or the other. The idea was that we could create a community online, for people that may not be able to express themselves anywhere else. I am happy to say that the idea for Sober Nation has continued to live through the website. We feel like this is the most important ideal we can give, and we need to stick to it to maintain the culture of Sober Nation.
Here’s the thing. We advocate people speaking their minds. We want you to tell us how you feel. We want to know what you believe and what your opinions are. The line is drawn when we take away from what we feel our priority is. That is to help people. When we veer away from that purpose, we are losing the chance to potentially save someones life.
Here is what we want to do. We want to make recovery cool. We want the world to see that being sober does not mean being boring. We want to show the world that drug addicts are not train wrecks. In fact, drug addicts in recovery are exceptional human beings. Many of which go on to accomplish and achieve amazing things. We want to bring the world together, and bring recovery into the forefront of society. Why should we hide behind who we are?
Most importantly, we want to help people. We want to help people find treatment. We want to help family members find support, and help them understand what addiction is and why their child, or parent or loved one is behaving the way they are. We want to help addicts feel more comfortable with themselves. Being an addict does not make you a bad person, and we want people to understand that.
With all that being said, here is what Sober Nation does NOT want to be. We DO NOT want to be a debate committee. We DO NOT want to get involved with arguments about sobriety that are completely irrelevant and worthless. We DO NOT want to be a TMZ for recovery, where we judge people with drug problems to make ourselves feel better.
Doesn’t it make more sense if we all come together? Doesn’t it make more sense to accept what works for other people, and in return expect them to accept what works for us? I think it does.
I agree whole heartily. So many times we get caught up in semantics that we forget the goal. I did this a lot in early recovery–and my sobriety didn’t last. Now I keep an open mind and don’t try to shove “my ” way onto anyone. Sobriety date: 8/30/07
Do you have any suggestions or resources about quitting suboxone. It has been three weeks since I quit. Some days are ok. Some days I am sick and emotional. Most days I just want the hours to go away because I have no energy anyway.
Great post. Nobody ‘owns’ recovery, there are many pathways to sobriety, what matters is you are sober not, how you got sober. I think there is a great need to ‘re-brand sobriety,’ it is cool, it is fun, but all people see is the train wrecks of celebrity rock bottoms. Well done on creating this community, you have done so much to make a recovery a more accessible and attractive place.
Very well Put! I could not agree with you more.
It would be I that started that debate and it was surely not my intent to do so. Today I have 9 months, 9 days, and some odd hours sober. This has been one of the hardest fights of my life. There have been times it was day by day, hour by hour, and moment at time. I did not intend to disrespect anyone’s book or belief. For me, I do not feel “recovered”, rather I feel as though I’m fighting for recovery. I attend AA, work with a sponsor, read the book, do service work, work the stops, and pray. I do not know the Big Book cover to cover, but I do know the promises and I hang onto them dearly, I have from day one. If my original post was in any way offensive or flippant I will take care with future posts to use my words more appropriately.
I love your website! Sober Nation is a website I share with my teenager..,.its valuable. As a recovered drug user (recovering whatever!) I find it inspiring and empowering! I thank you with all my heart…your website is helping many .. Most grateful
Who gives a rip about “recovering” or “recovered”? How about just being off of drugs and alcohol?? This IS part of the issue that keeps all of us separate from each other. There is this negative attitude toward “one or the other”. Either you are part of NA or you are part of AA, and you can’t mix it up; oh my god! Ooohhh. Come one people! Heck, I always say, “It matters to me little the “how” of your sobriety, more is the “doing” of the sobriety”.
Rock on Sober Nation rock on.
DD
Who gives a rip about “recovering” or “recovered”? How about just being off of drugs and alcohol?? This IS part of the issue that keeps all of us separate from each other. There is this negative attitude toward “one or the other”. Either you are part of NA or you are part of AA, and you can’t mix it up; oh my god! Ooohhh. Come one people! Heck, I always say, “It matters to me little the “how” of your sobriety, more is the “doing” of the sobriety”.
Rock on Sober Nation rock on.
DD
i feel the same way we just started a recovery group called recovery worx we invite anyone who needs some supprt i think the key is getting support when you need it we are all about living life
what does it profit us if we gain this whole world but loose our souls.
what makes us an addict in the first place…I dare say a broken heart. we cant fix our hearts so we learn to manage their brokenness. Like a broken leg that we take pain med for but never get it put in a cast, wrapped up for healing! We medicate our pain, what we need is healing and healthy, long term relationships with people who’ve been there, been healed, can love back, and dont give up.
In Luke 4:18 it says: The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted , to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised , Amen! It works. Dont go to church, be the church!
what does it profit us if we gain this whole world but loose our souls.
what makes us an addict in the first place…I dare say a broken heart. we cant fix our hearts so we learn to manage their brokenness. Like a broken leg that we take pain med for but never get it put in a cast, wrapped up for healing! We medicate our pain, what we need is healing and healthy, long term relationships with people who’ve been there, been healed, can love back, and dont give up.
In Luke 4:18 it says: The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he hath anointed me to preach the gospel to the poor; he hath sent me to heal the brokenhearted , to preach deliverance to the captives, and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty them that are bruised , Amen! It works. Dont go to church, be the church!
Micky, If you stay sober and continue with your program, one day you will be recovered. I never thought that was possible, but it is.
I read a book a few years back called Addict at Ten by Derek Steele that I couldn’t put down!!