Instead of going out the night before my court appearance I decided to stay home and spend time with my sober friends. I prayed a lot that night trusting that it would work. I still didn’t quite understand what or who I was praying to but I did what I was taught. I was nervous and apprehensive about everything at this point, I was flat out scared. I didn’t know what fear was though, I was so used to being filled with it that I wasn’t able to decipher it from feeling normal anymore.
Court went better than I could’ve hoped, I was facing four more months and treatment again and got nothing, that’s right NOTHING not even probation. Did my prayers work? Did I me doing the right thing work? Was it some sort of combination? I didn’t know the answer at the time but my gratitude cup was definitely filled up again. I was in awe of what had just happened, I wasn’t used to coming out ahead in things of this nature but then again I wasn’t used to doing the right thing.
Maybe there was something to this higher power thing. I felt like I was punched in the face with faith… faith in God, faith in prayer and faith in the sober way of life. It was time to leave the hotel and go back to the halfway house, I was a new man… literally. I was going to give this thing a shot. I was going to finish my six moth commitment at the halfway house and find a home group as well as new sponsor. I got to work, I found a group I felt comfortable with and got a service position greeting people at the door. I started making friends and started feeling more comfortable in my own skin. I started hitting my knees twice everyday and finally found a sponsor that I felt comfortable with. My life was changing and so was my attitude. I was able to say the word God instead of higher power for the first time. Finding a sponsor wasn’t enough however, I had to do the work and it was uncomfortable to sit and read with another man and tell him the intimate details about myself but I did it.
Life was great and it seemed to be getting better every day…