We had bed bugs, that’s right bed bugs.
I had been in the halfway house for about 2 months now and its time to move again. This time its temporary. We’re going to a hotel for a week while they bug the house. This is my chance to taste a little bit of freedom while in sobriety. I didn’t know how I was going to react. I did know this: I have to go to court for the charges that sent me to treatment in the first place.
I was nervous. I was in between sponsors, the one I started with wasn’t working out and I was still relying on my gratitude as a higher power. I saw my roommates hit their knees and pray and started to do the same myself. I had been reading my Big Book and I was still going to meetings and I now had a home group. I felt as though I was doing all the things that I was supposed to. Still nervous about going to court, I think a lot of my motivation lied in hopes that if I did the right thing I could show the judge and he may be easy on me.
I was trying to learn faith. I was doing what everyone said I should do and I was as spiritual as I could be at the time. Still my family wasn’t too happy with me, they heard me tell them I was trying but I wasn’t able to show them yet. I had a lot of work to do.
The day before I had court, I was leaving work when I got a call from my attorney, she didn’t have good news. The charges I was facing weren’t light and even though I had been sent to treatment by the judge I knew they wanted me to face even more consequence.
Having spoken to my lawyer a few weeks earlier she told me that I may be facing a week more in jail along with a couple of years of probation. The night before my appearance I was told that there was a new DA on the case and they wanted to give me 4 months and send me back to treatment. Treatment and four more months of jail? I may as well just go back out and use that night I thought. I was in a hotel instead of a halfway house, I was going to jail AND back to treatment. I had some money in my pocket and was resentful, it’s a perfect storm I thought….