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Sober Nation

Putting Recovery On The Map

09-26-18 | By

6 Ways To Convince Your Loved One They Need Help

Many people who struggle with alcohol or drugs have a difficult time getting better. There can be a multitude of reasons why, however no matter what the case may be, their loved ones may feel frustrated, confused and at a utter loss of what type of action to take to get them help. It may also become a barrier to help loved one’s see that they are in dire need of help.

In spite of these frustrations, we’ve put together a list of seven suggestions on how to convince your loved one to begin their journey of recovery.

Family Intervention

The most popular way to get someone the help they need is to do a family intervention. This is when family members and an interventionist get together with the addict to tell them how they love them and wish that they get help to get better. Each family member takes a turn and tells the person how special they are and that they need to get help. The person who is struggling listens and hopefully they become convinced to get the help they need.

Let Them Know What Will Happen If They Don’t Get Help

Another way to convince the person who is struggling with alcohol or drugs is to get someone who is an expert on addiction and have them do a one on one talk with your loved one. This expert on addiction should explain to the addict what will happen if they do not get the help they need to get better. The expert should warn the person of the dire consequences of what will happen if they do not change their ways. The person speaking should be vivid as possible and hold nothing back. The goal is to convince the person to get help or they will suffer and continue to face worse consequences as they act out in their addiction.

Use The Services of A Professional Or A Former Addict

Try to find a professional or even a former addict who has “been there” to talk to the person. Professionals can use their skills to talk and try to reason with the person. These experts are usually trained and can use a proactive approach into trying to convince the addict to get help. The goal is to try to reason and talk with the person so they can get professional help.

Find Out The Reasons Why The Person Won’t Get Help

Many people overlook this suggestion. Ask the person who is struggling with alcohol or drugs to list three reasons why they will not get help. At first, they will say all kinds of things, however, continue to softly engage the person and get the three main reasons why they refuse to get help in a kind manner. If you become defensive the person may become hostile and refuse to talk. It might take a couple of tries, however, listen to what they say. Once you get the answers, write them down on a piece of paper. Note: Fear and Frustration are huge factors for the person not getting help. Refer to: Eight Reasons Why People Are Afraid To Get Sober.

Determine The Solutions To Those Barriers

Once you get those three reasons, you may want to find a professional or an expert to find the solutions to those issues. For example, the person may say that they will not get help because they tried a few times and failed and that they will fail again. Ask a few addiction professionals to find a solution to this issue that will help the addict overcome this barrier.

One good answer to this example is the following: “Yes, you tried to get better and failed however this time you will do things differently. We can help you overcome these fears and additionally get help or treatment, however we will NOT continue to enable this behavior.”

Make sure to enlist strict boundaries with your loved one about what will happen if they do not receive the help that you are seeking out for them.

An additional example is to keep a daily diary of everything you do and you or someone else will document what you do each day. If you stumble or fail you will write down your feelings at the time and why you failed. When you recover from a bad episode you can read your diary and find out what went wrong. Once you know what went wrong you will know why you failed and will find a way to prevent this from happening again.

Use your list from the fear list and make another list of every positive thing that will counter those barriers. When you are finished, present this to the person who is struggling and explain what you came up with. This will help reduce the person’s fears and anxieties and may convince them to get help. Developing a plan to counter their reasons of not getting help will go a long way.

Talk to the Person Instead of Talking At Them

Nobody wants to be lectured. Be honest with them and tell them that it will require some hard work on their part but that they can get better. If they don’t get help, they will suffer as well as additionally continue to hurt their loved ones. Remember that the person who is struggling is scared and they need help in overcoming their fears and overcome their resistance to getting help. Remember to find out those fears, address possible solutions to those fears, and you will have a better chance of getting through to that person.

Reminder: You Can’t Save Your Loved One All By Yourself

As a loved one, your fears and anxieties can be extremely difficult to manage and more than likely you will need some help as you’ve continued to watch your loved ones addiction and convince them to get the help they need. You must remember that you alone cannot fix or save your loved one all by yourself. By employing a professional for your loved one as well as yourself, you can reduce the emotional stress and anxieties that you may face by addressing your own fears with a therapist, or with a family support group.

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