I’m glad that’s over. All in all 2019 was a really positive year, but it was also very painful.
I’ve never had so many people reaching out for help with addiction. It has been overwhelming. 2019 was a real coming out party for the addiction epidemic. This is now a nationwide problem that can’t be ignored any longer.
I think everyone is so shocked by the reality of the situation and we are still working out ways to cope.
This is a new year. This is a fresh start. We’ve all had time to see our families and enjoy the holidays, but now it’s time to get back to work. Now it’s time to kill it.
In order to do that, we’ll have to get rid of some nasty habits.
1 – Being the Victim
There was a lot of pain.
I witnessed families get ripped apart and lives lost. It is so difficult to watch someone go through this and even more difficult to go through it yourself. But we must avoid the victim mentality at all costs.
Everyone has problems. You are not specifically cursed. You are not a victim.
I’ve seen a lot of victim mentality over the last year. I am on a mission to rid us of that thinking. It won’t help you at all. Ultimately that kind of thinking will hurt you more than it will help you.
To avoid being the victim, write a gratitude list every night before you go to bed. Keep in your mind how much you have to be grateful for and your life will completely change.
2 – Beating Yourself Up
Everyone makes mistakes. Some mistakes are dumber than others. But just because you relapsed or made a big mistake doesn’t mean that you are a bad person. It certainly doesn’t mean you deserve to be “punished.”
The way people talk to themselves after they relapse is very sad.
- I’m a loser
- I’m a failure
- No one will ever trust me again
- Why am I so stupid?
Please don’t do this. Recovery isn’t easy. I know lots and lots of people who struggled for years until they were able to find recovery and keep it for a long time. I have a family member who went to treatment 16 times.
Yet, this person has been clean and sober for 10 years and he is living the life of his dreams.
You are not a loser. You are not stupid. You may have done something stupid, but I believe you are beautiful.
3 – Comparing Yourself to Others
Life is a journey. Everyone has a different journey and a different path in life.
It’s time we stop looking at what other people have and comparing it to what we have. I think this can be best started in one of my favorite quotes.
Do not waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you’re ahead. Sometimes you’re behind. The race is long and in the end it is only with yourself.
– Zig Ziglar
Life is not always fair. Some people have to work much harder than others in life. Some people were born into different circumstances and others may have been born into a softer life. But none of that matters as much as you think it does.
What is important is what is going on inside of you and how you feel about yourself.
If you are in fit spiritual condition, then you have everything. You can’t compare your journey to someone else’s. This will only spawn jealousy and resentment and will take away from your happiness.
Try your best to enjoy life for what it is. Everyone has good days and bad days. Enjoy.
4 – Trying to be Perfect
There is no such thing as perfect. Can we just agree on that?
If you are always striving for perfection you will always come up short. There is no need to put that kind of expectation on yourself. It’s unrealistic and it is not conducive to contentment.
Stop trying to be perfect. Instead, try to be earn the feeling of comfort you get when you know that you did your best. When you go to bed at night, do an inventory of your day. Did you give it your all? Do you feel like you let yourself down at all and if so, how can you do better tomorrow?
Learning daily lessons and striving for progress is the name of the game. Don’t torment yourself in this new year by trying to accomplish this impossible goal.
5 – Waiting Until the Right Moment
There is never a right moment for big changes is life.
Getting sober, getting married, starting a new business, etc. The right moment is right now. This year, let’s stop finding reasons not to do something and get to work.
That isn’t to say that you shouldn’t have a plan, but when getting sober there is always a level of urgency. Don’t wait. Don’t dwell on details, just get to work!
Let’s Make this Our Year!
I feel really good about 2019. I feel optimistic about the future of Sober Nation, about the recovery movement and about the progress made.
But what about you?! What about your life?
Is this going to be the year where you take control? Ten years from now are you going to look back with your friends and say “2019 was a great year, that’s when everything changed for me?”
I plan on making this a year to remember. I hope you do as well.
How do you feel about this new year? Do me a favor and leave a comment below. How are you going to quit bad habits? How are you going to make big changes? Let’s hear it!